You Can't Scare Me, I Have Kids

All My Children

Between us, my wife and I have seven children and seven grandchildren. Without a moment's hesitation I can rattle off their names, birthdays, social security numbers and favorite colors. Sure I can. If you believe that, I have a '82 Buick that is in "perfect shape" to sell you. I think I can tell you my children's favorite colors because most of them like black. (I often wonder what a psychiatrist would make of that.)

Nancy and I love children... especially our own. Like most people, we seem to enjoy grandchildren even more than we did our own children. This is probably because we don't feel as responsible for how they "turn out" so we don't try so hard with them. We take them (and ourselves) a little less seriously. Also, my experience has been that grandchildren are less stressful. If they cry or foul their pants, I take that as a message from God that they should be immediately returned to their parents for maintenance and repairs.

I am experienced at filling both the parent and child positions (sometimes simultaneously), and know that parents can be, and usually are, irritating. But children can be downright painful. Women love to compare war stories about childbirth. "Mine was the most painful labor and birth in the history of womankind." They especially love to tell these stories, in graphic detail, to first time expectant mothers. They talk about how bad childbirth is and then proceed to have more children. Go figure.

But childbirth is just a warning from God of things to come. The old saying goes, "When children are young they step on your feet and when they get older they step on your heart." A parent deeply disappointed with his or her children wrote that sad little saying.

The pain of parenthood has to do with unmet expectations. It is about hopes and dreams that never become realities. In defense of parents, I must say that we just want what we perceive to be the best for our children. But most of the pain we experience we bring on ourselves. Who made it a rule that our children have to do with their lives what we want them to do? As adults, we insist on doing things our way and resent interference from our parents. We will hardly tolerate advice. And then we turn around and do the same thing to our children and are offended when they don't respond "properly." Talk about a double standard.

So, it would seem we have a normal family. Nancy and I wish the kids would do some things differently and they wish we would mind our own business. I have all kinds of hopes, dreams and "good" ideas for my children. Instead of being concerned with my children's life's work, I am more interested in their lifestyle. I am referring to an old idea called stewardship.

My Dad taught me some great concepts of stewardship. It is more than just giving money to the Church, though that is certainly part of it. (Feel free to send me a check.) Dad was a great giver. He said, "You just can't out-give God." Stewardship is less about giving gifts to God and more about what we do with the gifts God has given us.

Dad taught me (and I believed him) that we are called to do the best we can with what we have-our time, talents, gifts and money. Frankly, I am not that concerned with what my children do for a living. I just want them to know and experience God's love and presence in their lives and be good stewards of all that He has given them. These are high hopes because God is a great God and our children are extremely gifted. Before you accuse me of bragging I will remind you of what Dizzy Dean said. "If you can do it, it ain't braggin'." I'm not bragging, just stating facts.

My prayer for your children and my children is that they come to know God personally and live lives to His glory. "I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth." (3 John 1:4) What more can we ask?