The Conditions of Grace

Mark showed up on my doorstep about a half hour after Marshall left.  “I knew you were lying about going out,” he almost laughed as he moved past me into my apartment.

As I turned to follow him in, he turned to look at me for the first time.  “I don’t lie, Mark.  I thought I was going out.”

“You know I think this is the first time I’ve seen you with make up and you look like a raccoon.”  His biting tongue was a bit much for me.  I just walked away into the bathroom and shut the door.  I washed my face.   He tried to talk to me over the sound of running water.  “I was just kidding.  You just look like you’ve been crying.  You really look very pretty otherwise.”

I just ignored him.  I was angry at him for turning my world upside down once again and I regretted letting Marshall get away, for this man who was so mean to me.    Even after my face was clean, I left the water running.  My face was bare, but I decided against putting on more make-up.  Today, Mark could see me as me.

“My mom’s tea bored you to tears, right?”  I didn’t respond.  “Was it Allison?  Did she speak to you?  Is that why you’re upset?  Did she threaten you?”

“Why are you here, Mark?  To get our stories straight?”  I sat on the edge of my bathtub, talking to him through the closed door.

“I told you.  I wanted to see you,” he said more tenderly, almost shyly.

I opened the bathroom door, looked deep in his blue eyes and asked, “Why?”

He smiled, “Why are you always grilling me with questions?”

His clever grin and handsome face managed to lighten my mood.  I mocked, “That’s right, like all my questions about if you can eat cheese or eggs or if you’re the one that gasses the dogs at the SPCA.”

“Exactly, just the third degree since I met you,” he smiled devilishly.

I laughed in spite of myself.  I liked Mark, in spite of myself.  He was indeed mean, arrogant, self-involved.  At the same time, he was smart and charming and perhaps the most straightforward person I’d ever met.  “So what now?”  I said, crossing my arms and leaning against the bathroom door.

“Again with the questions!  I thought you wanted to go out tonight.  Why don’t you go put that raccoon stuff back on your face and we’ll go out?”

We had so much fun that night.  Mark took me for pizza and a game of putt-putt, which he played horribly (I think, on purpose).  Then he drove me to a spot that sat high above the town.

“What is this...inspiration point?” 

“You guessed it.  This is where I bring all the chicks to neck.”

“Like when Allison’s out of town?”

He winced, “Ugh!  You had to bring up the dragon lady.”

“I’m sorry.  I take it back.”

“Nope, nope.  Can’t be undone.  You’ve brought bad karma to our night.”  Mark was sounding like his normal self but looking at the steering wheel.  He hadn’t even tried to put his arm around me.

“No, I think you can accept responsibility for that because of your four back-to-back double bogeys.  I’ve never seen a putt-putt open in winter before.  You’re just lucky they’re not going to charge you to fix that windmill.”

“You hexed my game, Evil Woman, with your form-fit dress.”

I laughed.  It grew quiet and I looked at the town below.  I was afraid I was boring