Graduating With Honor(s)

Then in the middle of all of the names being called out, the auditorium went completely silent.  You could literally hear a pin drop as they called out, “Matthew Daniel Deal.”  The place was deathly silent.  A few nervous coughs, but not a whisper of sound otherwise.  I heard some rustling up front, but I could not look up.  I sat there with my face in my hands, looking at the floor.  I could not look up. I did not want to look up.  Janet had long gone to join the throng of picture takers, but I was transfixed in my spot.  The whole year was rushing through my head.  Then out of the silence it began.   Luke Loving yelled in the din “Yeah Matt!”  A few other cheers followed that by his classmates, then some cat whistles.  Then Matt’s senior class rose as one and slowly a standing ovation began.  First the students, then the parents, and slowly but surely everyone rose and applauded as Matt made his way across the stage with Josh and Jason.  The principals pushed for Josh to hold Matt and help him, but like so many times during the year, Josh just seemed to know Matt was fine, he would make it, and there was no reason to help him now.  He was o.k.  While the standing ovation continued everyone stood and cheered.  While everyone was cheering my son on, I sat with my face in my hands and cried.  I cried and cried. I deserved it.  We had been strong enough, just long enough.  I deserved to enjoy the moment, and to let the anxiety of the past months pass.  He was fine, he was making it, and like so many times during the past year, he was in good hands, they could take care of him.  I was not needed.