I Don't...Should You?

Introduction

            From the years of kindergarten and through elementary school, we’re often asked if we have a boyfriend or girlfriend yet, but it’s all in fun. We’re then teased during the later years of elementary school and junior high school if it’s revealed that we have a crush on someone. Once again, it’s all in fun, unless, of course, you’re the one being teased. Then during high school, the playful puppy love blossoms into a meaningful relationship. The years following high school and college become increasingly more difficult because another variable is added to the equation. Sticking to the “school” theme, the letter that represents that new variable is the letter M for a very good reason. That reason is because the M stands for marriage. Now the simple mathematical equation of a high school or college romance has become a complex, advanced calculus equation because of this new M variable.

            Marriage seems to be becoming a less desirable option unlike in decades past. Why is this occurring? I don’t think this book has all of the answers, but it will give a clear and honest look into the mind of a heterosexual male (for some reason, I feel I must state the obvious) in his mid-thirties who is being pressured to marry but deep down doesn’t want to. It is not a fear of marriage or “commitment”; it is the honest lack of desire to wed in holy matrimony with one person for the rest of my life. This book may even open the lines of communication with your significant other; maybe they feel the same way. It may cause more questions than it can answer, but that isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

Marriage and its associated issues is one of the few social institutions that binds all cultures, races, occupations, income levels, and ages. Most have arguments over topics such as finances and the deterioration of intimacy; they experience domestic violence, infidelity, and/or thoughts of divorce to some extent. Maybe this is why more and more couples seem to be waiting to get married. Some are just shacking up together without any intention of getting married. It’s also possible that they’re thinking more sensibly, i.e. establishing themselves in their career, or obtaining an advanced degree first, and then considering finding a lifelong partner. For some reason, it seems that more and more men and women are single as they hit their late twenties and early thirties.

It could be that they just haven’t found the “right one”; or it could be that they refuse to become a statistic and just want to be absolutely sure before they exchange their vows. Some men and women have been “scared straight,” like when troubled juveniles are taken into a prison to deter them from a life a crime; they see and hear what other couples are going or have gone through and have realized that they do not want to become what they’ve become. We observe these couples that claim to have met the “right one” and wonder why they argue and eventually divorce. With the divorce rate at fifty-one percent (fifty-one percent is being conservative by most accounts), does this mean that only the other forty-nine percent have truly met the “right one?” Of the fifty-one percent that resulted in divorce, what percentage thought that they had met the “right one?” Therefore, meeting the “right one” does not necessarily guarantee a long and successful marriage.

            I don’t know whether it’s funny or just ironic that we refer to marriage as the “M-word” just like we refer to the ultimate curse word as the “F-word.” Maybe this is why marriage is often called the eight-letter dirty word. The topic of marriage is one of the few topics that has truly passed the test of time. A couple married today could discuss, joke, complain, and overall relate to every facet of marriage to a couple celebrating their fiftieth wedding anniversary. Technology, fashion, music, and many other things change drastically over the decades, but the thoughts and opinions about marriage, and overall challenges a married couple will experience or has experienced, will and have remained the same.