Someday You're Not Coming Down

Even though I had worked with Bob Hope several times in the States, he knew me by my stage name, Dick Albers, and I doubt very much if he actually knew my legal name, Albershardt. Of course, there had to be a security check by the State Department and I was about to be cleared by the United States Government for one of the most prominent passports that any civilian can possibly obtain. Bob took it a step further by calling Indiana University’s Bill Armstrong, inquiring about my integrity…..

Only a few minutes went by before my seatmate, Bob Hope, joined me, plopping down eagerly in his seat as though it were his first trip. I had read somewhere in a horoscope that a Gemini says funny things and is humorous, and it made quite a bit of sense, considering that both Bob and I are Geminis. We laughed and joked the entire trip and Bob even passed silly notes to people. I had a spent flash bulb, gray and wrinkled-looking, stuck it in my nose and asked Bob if I could borrow his hankie. This tickled Bob so much that he did the same, borrowing my burnt-out bulb and walking throughout the entire plane asking various people for their hankie. We were immediate friends.

Actually, this ridiculousness was just the medicine everyone would need. The huge, over-sized C-141 accommodated everyone, including football great Roosevelt Grier, and was just getting warmed up for the 30,000-mile trip. We were on our way to Vietnam with stops in Midway, Guam, Okinawa, Japan, Korea, and Thailand. When we stayed in Thailand, quite a bit of our traveling was done by helicopter or smaller planes, enabling us to move around quicker or to land in remote areas. We also did shows on the USS New Jersey and the USS Hancock, and I am still awed by the gigantic size of those ships.

      The cast consisted of Ann-Margret, sultry star of movies, television, and, night clubs; Linda Bennett, lovely actress/singer; The Honey Ltd., vocal quartet; The Golddiggers, twelve singers/dancers; Penny Plummer, Miss World; popular Los Angeles Rams Tackle, Rosie Grier; and yours truly. Les Brown and the Band of Renown had the troops tapping their feet to his wonderful music, while the master of ceremonies, Bob Hope, had the Armed Forces screaming with laughter…..

We visited hospitals in Vietnam, talking with many young men, many of whom had their lives shattered, and it was rather difficult emotionally until Bob showed us how. It was apparent when we arrived at the “Traction Ward,” because everyone but the nurse was tethered to the ceiling. Patients had legs and arms (or both) in the air, they were flat on their backs, and Bob said, “Don’t anyone get up!” From that point on, we also relaxed and could talk to anyone, knowing they did not want sympathy, nor did they want to give us a sob story. The most popular subjects were Mom, a girlfriend or wife, their favorite football team, and their hometown. Thanks to Bob, our very difficult job was made more manageable…..

Bob Hope was certainly a rare breed and one that never forgot his roots. Being a perfectionist, along with having an exceptional amount of talent and a commitment to hard work made him the superstar that he was, although he didn’t take himself that seriously. In spite of the enormous amount of fame, publicity, and wealth, he was as down-to-earth as anyone I had ever met. He was charming, sophisticated, intelligent, witty, distinguished, and an awful lot of fun to be with. Because of our age difference, it seemed like we almost enjoyed a special father/son/friend relationship, and I’d like to think he felt the same way about me.