Metrano's Accidental Comedy

            As I stepped up to the extension part of the ladder, I felt it give way.  I knew something awful was about to happen, but there was no stopping it.  All I’d wanted to do was hose-off the balcony, but it was not meant to be. Suddenly I was falling backwards toward the ground, hurtling through the air as fast as the speed of light, or so it seemed.  That was on Sunday, September 17, 1989--the day my life was turned upside down.

             It was a beautiful Sunday morning, one of the rare days in Los Angeles when you can actually see the skyline.  The brown haze that usually hangs over the city had disappeared for the weekend.  No smog! It was not a typical L.A. day, if you know what I mean--”I shot an arrow in the air and it stuck”, to paraphrase Shakespeare.

            But on this particular day, the sky was so blue, it was almost translucent.  There wasn’t a cloud in sight.  I remember admiring the spectacular sweep of the Hollywood hills as I drove along Sunset Boulevard.  Tall, elegant palm trees swayed gently in the breeze.  On days like this, I understand why LA is called the City of Angels.

            I had just finished playing tennis doubles with friends.  I’d had a good game and felt terrific, really on top of the world.  My wife and I had recently purchased a second home that we were renovating and had put up for sale.  I was driving over to take a look at the new pool we were having built.

            As I drove up to the house, my mind was racing forward through the day.  At 1 PM, the real estate broker had prospective buyers coming to see the house.  At 3 PM, I would meet my wife, Becky and our two children at Roxbury Park. We’d planned to have dinner in Chinatown and then see a movie.  The following morning, I had an audition for a part in a new film.  My life was everything I wanted it to be.  I was feeling powerful, in charge of my own destiny.

            I pulled my ‘82 corvette up to the garage door, got out and entered through the front gate.  Taking two steps at a time, I went down the stairs at the side of the house which led to the backyard pool and spa. What I encountered once I got there was an eyesore.  Over the past eight months, the house had been completely renovated, inside and out, but the pool and spa were still not finished.  The backyard was strewn with debris left by workmen and mounds of dirt were everywhere.

            As I looked around in disgust, I noticed that gray cement spray was all over the back walls, windows and doors. It was gunite spray from the pool.