Morning Calm
A Novel of the Korean War
by
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I use to have this dream when I was a kid. Somebody had left the barn gate open and our old milk cow had got out. Old Bessie, or Spot, or whatever the hell her name was, decides that this is a good day for a stroll about the
“Get her turned around.”
“How could you be so dumb?”
“Your letting her get away.”
Most of the time, that cow lumbered along at about the speed of syrup in January. Of course, NOW she wants to act like a cutting horse in heat. Every time I get ahead of her and I get close to turning her, she slips past. If I could just get someone to block for me, I could do it. Every time she slips past, I get a little more tired, and a little more humiliated. But of course, I’m on my own, and I’m scared that everyone will see me for what I am. Scared, weak, stupid. I can here the others thinking it, speaking it, yelling it. The litany knifes through my head like a broken record. He’s scared, weak, stupid, scared, weak, stupid. Scaredweakstupidscaredweakstupid… you know the drill. I’m also scared because as the story progresses, I start to believe them. I’m being outwitted by a cow, 500 pounds of mean and stupid tied up in a leather bag. I’m scared, I’m tired, I’m hot, I’m crying, I’m in trouble and no one will help me and I CAN’T CATCH THE FUCKING COW.
I’m six years old.
Later, I dream of a girl I knew in school. I wonder if she ever thinks of me – doubtful – and if so does she still see the same thing – who knows? I know you’ll think I’m nuts, but I use to see her in this lavender dress and I swear, that’s what she’d be wearing the next day. I really liked this girl, okay, I loved her, or thought I did, hell I don’t know. But in the dream, I’m terrified that she’ll hate me, yet I manage to overcome my fear –for once- and speak to her. Yet when she turns toward me, the image dissolves and there is always some horrible flaw. She''s missing an eye, she has several blackened teeth or some other disfigurement and I know at that moment this is what she sees in me. Something vile and ugly and to be avoided. Then she points a finger and begins to laugh. Then everyone in the class, including the teacher begins to laugh. Soon, kids from other classes drift in to join the frivolity. Try as I might, I cannot hold back my tears. Of course, this just adds to the merriment of all. As I turn away I see out the window that even that damn cow –long turned into hamburger- is watching. Contently chewing a cud and looking at me as if to say “Hey stupid, I tried to warn you.” I fall to the floor, curled in a ball, I’m scared, I’m crying, I’m cold, I’m tired.
I’m fourteen years old.
Then I had dreams about boot camp. Marine Corps Recruit Depot,
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About the Book
their only enemies are boredom and the vagrancies of officers. Cussler, the lieutenant, is plagued with uncertainty in the shadow of another. Reese, the quiet sergeant, knows the horrors that lie ahead. Hogan, takes nothing serious until the quiet Melissa enters his world in a swirl of dark beauty. Goldstein, is running from the bigotry of his past, and
June 25th, it all changed.
Soon, the men of the scout platoon will find themselves in an all too real war. Caught up in a meat grinder of battle in a war no one wants, in a place no one knows.
In a distant place called
From the rubble-strewn streets of a burnt out
About the Author
Kirby W. Holliday was born and raised in
in the telecommunications and transportation industries. It was during this time, that his love for literature flurished and he began pursuing his dream of writing during his spare time.. When Kirby is not busy working at his job or working on his next novel, he can be found spending time with his wife, Tammy and their three children, Sergei, Ian and Natasha, at their home in Spring, Texas.