Why Is A Stepfather Called A Stepfather?

The Lord has blessed me to do some song writing when time permits. The title of a song that I recently wrote is called, “Simple and Plain.” These are the words to the chorus: “Simple and plain! Can you hear what I’m saying? If you can’t understand this Gospel, then you must be insane!” I know, it’s kind of radical, but somebody has to do it, so it might as well be me. I went where I just went because of where I went in the preceding paragraph. I need to say again what I said then, in order to make sure that it’s “Simple and plain!  Can you hear what I’m saying?”

So here it is, as simple and plain as I can make it. It doesn’t make sense when a person believes that a man-made replacement part can be acceptable or even better than the man-made original part, but at the same time believe that a stepfather, who is made in the image of God, is not acceptable and most definitely cannot be better than the original father who is not performing as a good father should! Now I know that this is a “run on sentence,” but please overlook it because I had to run with it in an attempt to make it “Simple and plain! Can you hear what I’m saying?”

This is the irony of this whole matter of the good stepfather not being good enough to step in and effectively do what the biological father is not doing. Why can’t the good stepfather effectively replace the defective biological father? Well, if you listen to the mother and the stepchild, it’s “simple and plain, if we can hear what they’re saying.” To them, the good stepfather just cannot meet the specifications of true fatherhood! It is my prayer that we can’t hear what they are saying! Why? Because most statistics show that the majority of families where stepfathers are present are the result of deadbeat, biological fathers who deserted their wife and children, or the result of children born out of wedlock where a marriage never took place between their mother and the children’s biological father. So when the good stepfather steps in and loves his wife and his stepchild with an unconditional love, the good stepfather in his replacement role, is actually doing something better than what the biological father is doing! What makes the good stepfather’s actions even the more noble is the fact that he is doing these things while being exposed to more stress, more duress, and more pressure than the biological father would be exposed to if he stuck around and became a good father.

It’s sort of O.K. for children to grow up believing in something harmless that is not true, like Santa Claus, but stepchildren should not grow up with the erroneous belief that bad biological fathers are better than good stepfathers! But yet and still, the good stepfather is looked upon as an inferior, below specifications product who is good enough to be a stepfather, but he’s not good enough to replace the good things that the biological father is not bringing about in the family setting. In the eyes of certain unappreciative stepchildren and their unappreciative mothers, the good stepfather is good enough to go out and work through blood, sweat and tears and bring his paycheck home to them. He’s good enough to spend quality time with the children by taking them to and picking them up from after school activities, the movies, and everywhere else. To the mother, he’s good enough to be her husband. He’s good enough for her to trust in his fidelity as she intimately shares her bed with him. In their eyes, even though he’s good enough, he’s not good enough! That’s what, “You can’t tell me what to do!  You’re not my father!” means. That’s what, “You can’t spank them!  You’re not their father!” means.