Things of That Nature
Five Plays
by
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PLAYWRIGHT’S DISCLAIMER: To be delivered as a booth announcement before each performance.
The author would like you to know, that the characters, incidents, and situations described in this play are entirely fictitious, and are not to be construed, in any way, as representative of the actual experiences of the playwright. (Pause) Yeah, right.
(Setting: The Flushing-bound, elevated Queensboro Plaza station platform. The OLDER MAN sits on a bench reading the Daily News. After a few moments, the YOUNGER MAN walks over, sits down next to him, and takes a subway map out of his backpack. He opens it, looks around, and then looks at the map. The OLDER MAN looks over at him, looks at the map, and goes back to reading his newspaper. Suddenly, without turning away from his paper, the OLDER MAN speaks.)
OLDER MAN: Looking for the tearooms?
YOUNGER MAN: What?
OLDER MAN: They don’t list them on the map.
YOUNGER MAN: List what?
OLDER MAN: (Puts the paper down and looks at him) The tearooms. They’re not on the map. You won’t find them there. They do not list them.
YOUNGER MAN: Oh, no…I’m not…I’m…that’s not what I’m looking for.
OLDER MAN: Sure…sure…they all say that. Just like the other guy who was here. You don’t remember me, do you?
YOUNGER MAN: No, I…I don’t. Should I?
OLDER MAN: Ahh, well, it doesn’t matter. We didn’t do anything anyway.
YOUNGER MAN: Do anything? (Pause) Oh…no…no …you’ve got me mixed up with somebody else.
OLDER MAN: Somebody like me never mixes up somebody like you with somebody else.
YOUNGER MAN: Well, somebody like you…just did.
OLDER MAN:
YOUNGER MAN: Some of who?
OLDER MAN: The tearoom girls.
YOUNGER MAN: Oh, them…that…
OLDER MAN: There…you were there.
YOUNGER MAN: Okay, yeah, so I was.
OLDER MAN: Well…
YOUNGER MAN: I’m doing research.
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About the Book
Shocking, outrageous, comical, and totally unapologetic—Paul M. Kelly is interested in the substance beneath the veneer. He takes language and places it in a mature theatrical arena for the purpose of provoking thought and response.
Kelly leads you on an entertaining journey behind the scenes of contemporary gay culture in, Things of That Nature, an all-embracing collection of one-act and one-person plays. His inventions and creations are a relentless and racy riot that penetrate the mind much like acid etches glass.
The Tearoom Tattletale, The Crack Ho, Justin, Randy, and Chuck, a.k.a. Miss Chuckles all showcase the range and breadth of his singular style, each play standing on its own, each with its own voice and feeling.
There is an abundance of gay-themed theatre in ready supply, most of which involves romantic hang-ups layered with dogmatism and weighty import. But Kelly maintains a witty, wicked, and finely toned subtlety to his work and refuses to exploit the encounters for their doctrinaire proclamations. His plays transcend the barrier of sexual orientation, attaining universality in depicting the pleasures, doubts, and pains existing in all relationships.
About the Author
Paul M. Kelly holds a doctorate in education from