The Lice Lady
Holy and Hilarious Moments in Ministry
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Matthew 10:30 "And even the hairs of your head are all counted.."
I could hear her coming down the hallway, heading for my office...looking for a de-lousing...I could feel my secretary Shirley cringing in her office, hiding behind her locked door. There was no escaping Ruby! "Where's Pastor Cynthia? Pastor Cynthia, we're here. It's me, Ruby. Jennifer's got head lice again, but it could be dust mites. Do dust mites make a rash on your neck? Maybe it's from the cat pee. The cat peed in her bed and she has a problem because her uterus dropped (the cat-- not the mom, or Jennifer, I think). Stop itching your head, Jennifer. Show Pastor Cynthia your head. See Pastor Cynthia? She has this rash all over her neck.. Are those little bites? I couldn't tell. Do you think it’s from the cat pee or the shampoo? Sit down Jennifer. What do you think Pastor Cynthia? Is it head lice again? She washes her hair every night and sleeps in the shampoo. She likes that shampoo with the conditioner. Don't you Jennifer? Yep, it makes her hair real soft. I hope it's not the shampoo. Do you think it’s the shampoo Pastor Cynthia-- or the cat pee? Stop scratching Jennifer! Take off your hat, Jen. What do you think, Pastor Cynthia? I called the doctor and he don't want to see her if she has lice so I said to Jennifer, we're going to see Pastor Cynthia. Stop itching Jen. Pastor Cynthia found the lice last year so I said, if the doctor don’t want to see you, we'll just go see Pastor Cynthia! She's the lice lady!" Jen sat down on my "lice stool" and I pulled the floor lamp over so that I could get a better look. With my trusty magnifying glass in hand, I searched carefully for signs of nits. Jennifer’s scalp was blue--bright blue...I mean BLUE! I didn't think it was a case of head lice, but a case of Selsen Blue. BINGO. Jennifer was a blue user! I reminded them that I wasn’t a doctor (at least not that kind of doctor) but I wondered if rinsing the shampoo out might make the rash go away; that it was certainly worth a try! If the rash didn’t get any better she could always go and see the school nurse or call the doctor back for an appointment. Mom started again. "Jennifer, say thanks to Pastor Cynthia. See I told you not to leave the shampoo in overnight. We don't gotta sterilize the sheets yet, do we Pastor Cynthia? That's only when the lice come. So we don't gotta go to the laundry- mat today after all. Do you want to check my head, Pastor Cynthia? I don't think I got it, but you never know. I don't leave the Selsen Blue in like Jennifer does all night cause I don’t like to sleep with wet hair. I told her it ain’t a good idea. I said Jennifer, don't go to sleep with wet hair in this cold weather, ‘cause it ain’t good for you and you don't want to get lice again. I think the lice like to come out in the cold. Yep that's what happens. Well bye, Pastor Cynthia. We’ll see you the next time Jen has head lice." God of Blessings, I thank you that Ruby and Jennifer don’t seem to have head lice- yet. Keep us all lice-free. Let us come to know your love through this ministry. Thank you for the surprises that you keep sending me and for the blessing of my ministry as the "lice lady." Amen. John 19:1-42 "So they took Jesus, and carrying the cross by himself, he went out to the Place of the Skull which in Hebrew is called Golgatha" It was Good Friday and each church was supposed to bring a cross to the ecumenical processional that would take place at noon. George came by the Presbyterian Church around 11:30 to get the cross. Even though he was not a member of our church, George had asked me if he might carry the Presbyterian cross. One thing about George is that he is very strong. He is also very quiet. George hardly speaks above a whisper and turns beet red when anyone speaks to him. He is very shy. One of George’s arms is a bit lame- a result of a stroke. I watched George as he limped down the street with the cross on his shoulder. His wife Marion walked a few steps behind him. I watched people stop to look at George. Some were amused. Others were puzzled. One or two people gave him the high-five. Some folks pointed. Some honked as if to say: "Why look at that! There’s a man carrying a cross! Mercy sakes!" Well it’s not something that you see every day in our little town. And as I watched George limping along, I thought of Jesus limping along as he carried his cross through the streets of Jerusalem. I thought of Jesus’ broken body (and George’s) as he dragged his cross through dusty streets and jeering crowds, bleeding and exhausted...carrying his cross to Golgatha- the place of the skull. And I can see Mary (like Marion) following close behind, following him to his death. God of Brokenness, You understand the pain our brokenness. Be with us in our suffering. Give us strength and courage. Help us to pick up the broken pieces of our lives. Bless our brokenness and use us to help bring healing to others. For we pray this in the name of Jesus, our savior. Amen.
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About the Book
"The Lice Lady: Holy and Hilarious Moments in Ministry" by Rev. Dr. Cynthia Huling Hummel is a delightful collection of short stories that will make you laugh and cry. These true stories are reflections from her work as a Presbyterian pastor in upstate NY, her work as a hospital chaplain in central NJ, her work as a Peace Corps Volunteer in Jamaica, WI and more. They are inspiring stories of hope, grace, forgiveness, and love that illustrate God’s presence in our lives. A wonderful gift! Perfect for personal devotions and bible study groups. A great resource for pastors looking for sermon illustrations. Wonderful to read aloud! Unforgettable characters! "The Lice Lady …" will touch your heart and soul.
About the Author
Rev. Dr. Cynthia Huling Hummel received her BS from Rutgers College in 1976, her MDiv (cum laude) from New Brunswick Theological Seminary in 1996 and her DMin in Preaching from McCormick Seminary in 2003. She and her husband Jon have been married for 28 years. They have two children- Emily and William. She is the 15th pastor of The First Presbyterian Church of Lyons, NY. Pastor Cynthia is the Chaplain for the Lyons Fire Department, a member of the NY State Association of Fire Chaplains, a member of Lyons Elks Lodge 869 and is an oblate of The Transfiguration Monastery in Windsor, NY. Cynthia loves traveling, running, writing short stories, and singing in a rock and roll band.