The Nifty Nineties

Here at the Heritage

We have a special troop

You must be ninety years or older

To join this unique group

They are called the Nifty Nineties

That’s the name they have selected

But make no bones about it

This group is highly respected

Some of them have wheelchairs

Which one must carefully watch?

For these speed demons will run you down

If its you they want to catch

They ignore all of the speed limits

That are posted in the hall

Get out of the way they yell at you

Or get rolled up in a ball

I never k new a wheel chair

Could go sixty miles an hour

But every single driver

Runs them at full power

You can try to reason with them

But this is what they say

IDF you don’t like the way I drive

Please get out of my way

The rest of them use walkers

With a feature that can’t be beat

It has a wire tray with a cover

Which they can use as a seat

This tray contains so many things

Sometimes it is a treat

That they obtain from the dining room

And take it to their room to eat

They also use walkers ass a weapon

And do not hesitate a second

To run over some poor soul

And Leave him lying torn and broken

Lets take a look at the oldsters

And try to see what makes them tick

Is it some sort of magic

Or a lowdown dirty trick

First one of them is ninety three

I will not say her name

Ashe has cards coming out her ears

And playing bridge by Goren is her game

Next is another ninety year old

Who owns Smokey the cat

Who rules the first floor West Wing

We will let it go at that

Next is one that I call Cutie

She doesn’t say a lot

She always stops at out table

To say hi and ask what’s what

Then there is a lady

Whose age is a hundred years

The speed she drivers her wheelchair

Is one of our greatest fears

Then there is another

At Bingo she’s a caution

She wins more games than anyone

She called names that I wont mention

I know a little lady who has ESP

And used to play the violin

For a lady by the name of Knox

Who owned Knox Gelatin

Another lady who lives with us

Has thirty three descendants

Her life now is taken up

Buying Birthday and Christmas presents.