Song Of Bernadette
A Mother's Memoir of a Daughter
by
Book Cover & Preview Text
The Song of Sorrow is a tune that I first heard as a young child when my father left the family as a result of his alcoholism. I heard echoes of it again throughout my life during my experiences of divorce, serious illness, and a move away from my lifelong home.
On October 24, 1999, the Song of Sorrow blasted me with its dissonant melody and nearly silenced all the other music in my life. In the past seven years the Song of Sorrow has receded, opening the way for a poignant symphony to appear that expresses the inexpressible sublime.
What are the principle elements that enabled me to not
only survive the horrific experience of loss of a child—every
parent’s nightmare, but also survive it as a transformed person,
utterly grateful for all that has transpired in my life, including the
lessons learned as a result of the loss of my daughter?
Prior to October 24, 1999, I was a person who tried very hard to control outcomes in most aspects of my life. Control was something I thought I was good at doing. Then there came into my life the most uncontrollable event imaginable with the worst possible outcome imaginable. Control was no longer my friend.
In the days, weeks, and months following my loss I made many decisions about my life. Because of the devastating and shattering nature of the experience, these decisions were relatively easy to make. I was vulnerable—smashed open like a pumpkin on the street with the particles of my old life strewn haphazardly along with the seeds of my new life. Looking back, many of the decisions I was forced to make helped me in my healing. It was as though a big rock had fallen on my tough, rational brain and my hard, defensive shell in order to finally relieve me of what was truly unessential in my life.
Looking back, I realize that I could have chosen a different path towards healing than I did. There were times when I felt stuck in the process. I might easily have become permanently stuck in bitterness and despair, dying a slow death inside with a sick heart and spirit, had I not followed the path that I did. It is clear to me now that the process towards positive healing involved making several key decisions. I realize that they are tools that can be used in the midst of any of life’s difficult challenges.
Formats
Book Details
About the Book
What would you do if you experienced a loss so devastating that hopelessness threatened your ability to continue as a loving and responsible parent?
This loving tribute to a daughter whose promising life was tragically and unexpectedly ended in 1999 at the age of twenty six years on a Baltimore train track, provides the reader with a positive answer to this question.
This is an intimate memoir that provides a window into the daughter's innermost thoughts and feelings through her poetry and letters written throughout her short life. The daughter's commentary and observation on her evolving life and foreshadowed death provides a moving glimpse of an insightful bright young woman. The mother's loving and intertwining observations, self revelations and resolve captures in a compelling tapestry the life and death story of the daughter who left a meaningful footprint on the world.
Song of Bernadette: A Mother's Memoir of a Daughter, is a guide to others with practical suggestions and tools for working through the grieving process.
The story of Bernadette and the story of her mother's loss and recovery are meant to inspire hope and light in a dark and fearful world to readers of all stripes and backgrounds and to help each of us to glean glimpses of insight into the meaning of our own lives.
About the Author
Debra S. Lewis, J.D., B.S.B.A., Ohio Northern University, 1992, 1988, was born and raised in Minneapolis, Minnesota. She is a practicing family law attorney and freelance writer and has lived for the past 12 years in Ashland, Wisconsin, located on the south shore of Lake Superior. Debra is married to Jeffrey D. Lewis, and has four children: Bernadette (deceased 1999), Jenine, Emily, and Peter, and two grandchildren: Gabriel and Grace.