A Divorced Man's Guide to Good Housekeeping

When Dante Aligheri wrote "The Divine Comedy", in the section devoted to "Il Inferno" (Hell), he must have experienced the sufferings of housekeeping as an inspiration to his work, really frightening and gruesome. Henry VIII of England - who appears to have started the ball rolling in this "frequent splitting" technique called divorce - had, of course, no worries. The gentleman was provided with more hired help than it was possible to ever need, and this is why he ventured into the realms of divorce and had no concern for housekeeping chores. Plus he owned that delightful place (The Tower of London), which served as ‘meditating’ quarters for those of his wives who might refuse to part company easily with him, quarters that prepared the stubborn to accept final separation or death. Would he now have had six wives, were he alive and not a monarch, after having had to iron but ONE bed sheet, also considering that in this day and age it is not acceptable (or even permissible) to behead all of those who may have incurred in someone’s displeasure?

                  By looking at this book's cover it is quite feasible to perceive that I am a male of the species (very probably described as chauvinistic by my former mate), which may explain why this attempt has been viewed from a male's perch. That’s not the only reason, whoever; women seem to have been born knowing everything that there is to know about housekeeping, and if there is something they don’t know, their mother will surely see to it that they learn about it. Regardless, my purpose is to provide those who may experience a situation such as mine with some basic guidelines as to what pitfalls to avoid in trying to live in a gentle fashion, healthy in body and, most of all, sane in mind.

                  I say "with some basic guidelines as to what pitfalls to avoid...", for I would not dare be presumptuous to believe that, even for a fleeting moment, I have provided anything but the barest of basic techniques required to assist in  self-preservation. However, we must start somewhere, and as I found nothing available when my turn came, I set about studying the phenomenon with alacrity, if not with gusto. Should I achieve my goal somewhat, I shall feel extremely gratified. Should I fail - a distinct possibility — may those who follow lead the way for those who inevitably will follow them. And may some of us survive…

                                     J.E.D.