Jolly Bedtime Tales for Big & Little People
by
Book Cover & Preview Text
A HERPETOLOGICAL MYSTERY:
“PRINCESS” NINA AND THE FROG PRINCE
NINA, the twin sister of the ill-fated Andy, was brought up like her mother to believe she was a “princess.” Not only did she possess countless pretty gowns and dresses, shoes, and tall conical hats with attached wimples or veils that she changed every hour or two, but she also delighted in wearing costume jewelry and even, from time to time, a little tiara that made her look like a real princess right out of the age of chivalry and romance.
All this was innocent enough and caused her indulgent parents, and even Grandpa Hartley, to smile at her pretensions. Before long, however, as an accompaniment to such “dressing-up,” she was also immersed in the world of folk- or fairy tales, such as those by the Brothers Grimm and the incomparable Dr. Hoffman, which she would ask Grandpa Hartley to read to her. Nina was especially intrigued by those tales involving enchanted princes who, initially appearing as frogs, snakes, and other creatures, were transformed back into their true states upon meeting a maiden who agreed to love them.
“Now Nina,” Grandpa Hartley would remark before reading her any such story, “you should always keep in mind that these tales are strictly for entertainment value and have no basis in objective reality. Princes do not change into frogs and back again, any more than pumpkins can become carriages and cannibals may be found living in gingerbread houses. Like your constant dressing up as a princess, it is all make-believe—‘just pretend’—and you mustn’t take it seriously.”
“No, Grandpa,” Nina would reply, “I’m sure you are wrong and that someday my prince will come and I shall indeed become a princess. Meanwhile, I plan on kissing every frog I meet, no matter what your revisionist ideas on the subject may be.”
“Well, Nina, you may do as you please, but don’t say you weren’t warned if you come down with a bad case of salmonella or worse. When properly prepared, frogs are certainly nice to eat—quite delicious, in fact, as your French friend, the Mouse King, could inform you—but kissing them when they are uncooked is not at all hygienic. I would therefore urge you to practice abstinence in such matters: just say ‘no’ whenever you are tempted to become intimate or they try to get fresh with you.”
“Thank you so much for that characteristic piece of advice,” Nina replied with an unmistakable trace of sarcasm in her voice. “Whatever would we do without Grandpa Hartley!
Formats
Book Details
About the Book
Jolly Bedtime Tales for Big & Little People is a collection of ten delightfully wicked stories dealing with the fortunes and misfortunes of the pseudonymous author’s family members. Not since Slovenly Peter have naughty children (and heedless adults) been so expertly skewered, beginning with the hilarious history of “The Little Boy Who Blew His Legs Off,” which never fails to elicit uninhibited laughter from juvenile audiences, despite what some prudish adults may think of it. Other tales include the “Curious Case of Crybaby Christopher,” who screams so hard that, in a reversal of the Pinocchio legend, he turns into a girl; the equally metamorphic mystery of “Princess” Nina, who goes in search of a frog prince and gets more (or less, depending on one’s viewpoint) than she expects; and the unsettling story of Grandma Hartley, whose dining on Santa’s favorite reindeer Rudolph has such cataclysmic results. As for Grandpa Hartley, after enduring all this and more with his customary forbearance, he is carried by great Zeus himself to the summit of
These and all the other tales in the collection are illustrated with the sly watercolors of the artist John Bobbish, and the book begins and ends with two brief poems by Grandpa. Although not always “politically correct,” Jolly Bedtime Tales for Big & Little People—as its title promises—is aimed squarely at fun-loving “children of all ages.”
About the Author
AFTER GRADUATING summa cum laude from Morganza, the exclusive prep school in western Pennsylvania, Grandpa Hartley went on to earn degrees at several of the nation’s leading universities—Columbia, Yale, and eventually Harvard, where he received a combination doctorate in business and religion. His incredibly diverse background includes work as a biochemist and medical researcher in the early space program; a distinguished career as a university professor of classics and theatre studies; publication of nearly two hundred books and articles; and over half a century as a well-known outdoorsman and mountaineer, whose numerous achievements include the first interview with the Yeti or Abominable Snowman, whom Grandpa persuaded to marry his favorite grandchild Jennifer (an act for which he was roundly denounced by PETA). As related in the final chapter of his Jolly Bedtime Tales, Grandpa presently resides on
John Bobbish, the book’s illustrator, continues to work as an artist and teacher of drawing and painting in