The Unpaved Road

The purpose of this book is to find out what I believe about my deity.  That statement signifies several traits within my personality.

First of all, I am not an atheist.  Indeed, my bringing up, as will be further shown in Chapter One, has me a moderate fundamentalist theist.  Years of exposure to one kind of religious teaching and another have raised questions to the point of my wondering, “How much of what I have learned do I believe?”  It seems that the best answer to that question might grow out of an attempt to write a book on the subject; hence The Unpaved Road.  Paved roads in my inherited religion (Christianity) usually lead to heaven or hell, but I think I’m not yet quite ready for either of those places.  I’m more immediately interested in the road on which I am traveling and in examining whether or not I can make any contributions toward its improvement.  I’ll have to wait to find out where it leads.

Secondly, that desire to improve the road I choose to travel certainly puts me outside the category called “fundamentalist”.  The fundamentalists I know about accept their roads as completed.  In fact, I’m so far from fundamentalism that I shall [in Chapter Three] object to being called a Christian.  I guess not being an atheist and yet objecting to being a died-in-the-wool theist (and waiting to find out where I’m going) leaves me in the category called “agnostic”.  I have never been sure what that term means but I’m fond of it.  I’ve been fond of it ever since it was rather awkwardly defined for me by the dean of the first college where I taught as “one who doesn’t know if there is a God but he acts as though there were.”

One thing about me that probably isn’t apparent in those opening sentences is that I am egotistical enough to glory in being a “primitive”.  Define that as some person who wants to do everything his own way to the point where he won’t allow art lessons, or instruction in architecture, or training in gardening to clutter up his genius in his chosen fields of interest. 

So The Unpaved Road is written by a stubborn egotist who wants to find out what he believes in the realm of religion without asking someone else.  It is written for me.  Others may read the book if their goal is to find out what they truly believe, but this author will be greatly disappointed if they go blandly along, simply telling themselves, “Yes.  I agree with that” or even “He’s nuts!”  Rather than having a reader agree or disagree with me, I’m interested in having him ask, “What do I truly believe?”

“The Unpaved Road” is not really an accurate title because it really is laying down a tentative pavement.  But it’s a path that’s to be trod by only one person.  Anyone else who  goes this way must do his own paving according to his own needs and satisfaction.  He may step on mine, but only if he can truly accept that part and make it fit into his own path.  Blind agreement with what is said here is the mark of a sneaky trespasser.  Closed-minded rejection points out the non-agnostic, 

Not only do I ask the reader to project himself into the role of the protagonist, but I use my primitivist’s license to defy the whole world of publishing!  If I’m able to pull this off the reader will discover in Chapter Two a set of directions for reading which are somewhat at odds with his old habits.  That chapter introduces some coined meanings of common words (as well as some coined words)  for the purpose of shock value.  Italics are used throughout the book to remind the reader of these special usages.  Since this upsets the usual uses for Italics, stressed words are underscored rather than italicized . 

If this idiosyncrasy seems confusing, bear with me and see if Chapter Two won’t help make sense of it.