Good Morning Reverend

Sunday

Offering Time

“You know, God’s got a blessing with your name all over it,” Reverend Bill Alexander whispered seductively in Ella’s ear.

“Uuum huh,” she replied.

“God gave that to you so that you can share it with others.  He says in His word, give and it shall be given unto you.”  Reverend Alexander reached over Ella’s voluptuous bosom to grab a handful of her full figured bottom.  His massive forearms rippled as he flexed his biceps with each stroke of her bodacious thigh.  She gazed lovingly into his hazel eyes and moaned with anticipation as he leaned in to kiss her neck.  Of all the times she’d envisioned this very scene, never once did Ella dream that his lips would be so cold…and hard…and thin!  “Ella, Ella” she heard as he continued to poke her neck with those lips.

“Ella, girl, take this offering plate!”  Ella quickly came back to reality as she heard her twin sister, Edna, calling her name.  “You must have been daydreaming about Reverend Alexander again, huh?”

“Shhhh”, Ella hissed as she put her five dollar bill in the plate and took out three dollars change.  “You talk too loud.  Everybody can hear you!”

“Ain’t nobody listening to me ‘cause they’re all focusing on that fine specimen in that pulpit, honey!”  Edna said, laughing loud enough to be heard by the church mother, Sister Lewis, who was sitting in the row in front of her.

Addie Lewis was a charter member of Eternal Life Baptist Church.  At the age of eighteen, she and her best friend, Debora Mills, joined the church at the invitation of the new good looking single pastor.  They were both very active members of the congregation, spear heading programs, planning trips, starting organizations, and even redecorating the sanctuary every few years.  Over the years, Addie became the most feared woman in the congregation. There was nothing that was said or done within the walls of Eternal Life Baptist Church that she didn’t know and comment about. She did, however, always portray herself as a woman of class.  Her colleagues viewed her as the type of woman who would smile in your face while signaling her paid assassin to take you out so that she wouldn’t have to get her hands dirty.    

 Addie turned around with a scolding look on her face.  Edna and Ella remembered that look from the times she would reprimand them and her own daughter, Daphne, for playing in church.  “Yes ladies, Reverend Alexander is nice looking.  However, this is neither the time nor the place for that kind of talk.  This is holy ground.” she said, turning her head around so hard that her blonde wig shifted slightly to the left.

After a two second pause, Edna and Ella snickered at the reprimand.  “He ain’t nice looking,” Edna whispered, “He is just fine.”  The twin sisters touched knuckles in agreement, something they had been doing all of their life.

“Let us pray.” said Bill.

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