Reflections of P T S D

Why a Second Book

Why does someone publish a second book? especially after a not so great reception of a first book?  I can only guess the reasons vary as much as the stars in the sky.  However, to me, it’s because of what and why I write.

You see, my poetry is very much like personal explanations of what a person feels at that specific time of their lives.  This is especially true for my poetry because I wrote it for a form of self-therapy.  For this reason, I will never write for any other reasons.  In fact, after I published my book “Perfect Flaws,” I find it hard not to write to this very day.  If you’re not familiar with the reason why I first started to write, I’ll quickly restate it again.  I started writing when I was diagnosed with acute Post Dramatic Stress Disorder, known as PTSD.  I wrote them as an away to face my demons and attempt to deal with them without committing suicide.  But, that was a personal reason why I wrote them, not why I published them.  I published them to help other veterans see that they are not alone.  It is my sincere hope that a veteran read them, and realized that if I could do it, then they could as well.  Do what? You may ask, I hope they have found an avenue to help them face their demons, no matter what it is.

But, as I have continued to write, my poems have showed me things, new discoveries within my soul.  In matter of fact, I realized that I had more than 200 pages of new poems in binders in my office.  Then, I started to think.  I wondered if any veterans actually started writing, and if so, if they have continued like I have.   I started to feel bad that I wasn’t sharing my new poems with them.  The only ones who regularly heard them was the writers group at the Albuquerque VA.  They seemed to enjoy them and told me so on a regular basis.  Actually, I think they show a happier, more stable person than when I wrote my first poems.  Some, however, show that my mind creeps into the dark side from time to time.  I think it is unavoidable.  I talked it over with my wife and she suggested that, perhaps, I could publish a second book for the same reason I did my first book.  After careful consideration, I came to the decision that doing a second book might be a good idea.

So, here I am, writing the first pages of my second book.  I plan to use the same format except for fewer pages of explanations.  I don’t feel they are really necessary.  I feel you will be able to get a feeling for my mental and physical conditions from the poems themselves.  However, if I think there is a need, I will do as I feel required.

Well, you may be wondering what is in store for you in this book I have created.  I can say it’s much of the same, but with something else as well.  According to readers of my newer poems, they usually make two observations.  The first observation is that I have dealt deeper into some areas that most will not go to, which has increased my intensity in some poems.  The second observation is that they have increased in length.  All in all, they say they have improved, but I’ll let you be the judge in that.

However, the fact that I write what I feel, and feel what I write has not changed.  I never consider subject manner, language, or what might be, so-called, politically correct.  I don’t say this to make you put the book back on the shelf, I tell you this because it is the honest truth, and without that, you have nothing.

So please enjoy my book, and for your own sake, don’t try to find hidden agendas in my words.  All I ask is that you truly read them not rush over them to get done.