Take a Breath...Take a Moment

Insane idiot . . . that's the name he was christened with early on in the failing of my heart, the destruction of my soul.  The very heart and soul that I was awarded with deep within my mother's womb.  Of all my human physiological belongings, they received the brunt of the impact, the epicenter of the bomb.  A bomb that destroyed those people in my little world which I cared for the most.

I think in the beginning, I mean the very moment that the words left his lips, I knew my life was about to take a drastic turn on an unfamiliar, frightening course on which I did not want to be.  I felt as if I was caught in a fierce current of lies,deception and hatred heading for the edge of the world.  I had a vision of Columbus and his crew and the fear they must have experienced as they headed toward the edge . . . the end, the same frightening place that we only dream about after having a late night snack too close to bedtime.  The kind of nightmare that you wake up from and literally get down on your knees and thank God Almighty that it was only a dream.  I would go to him and look into his eyes to see if there could be just a hint, a slight sliver of reality to it, only to convince myself how foolish I must be when my world was so perfect.

Infidelity . . . can there be anything else more vile to uproot your world, to change your life, to rip away any hope you may have for God's creations?  Not God's creation of the beauty and magnificence of an amber sunset or the drops of dew left on the tiniest of leaf tips in the early morning, but in His creation of human beings, who were formed so intricately by Him to love, serve and obey His laws.  I think not.  Not now.