11 Through 20… The Next Ten Commandments
by
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A few years ago I walked into a pet store with some friends, one of whom was a bird nut.
I use the word nut only because I don’t like the word aficionado. I try as much as possible to stay away from words I have to take three or four swings at to spell correctly. It gave my spell check more trouble than the first time I typed in Obama. I think words like aficionado should be left to cigar connoisseurs. Connoisseur is another one!
Our friend was thinking of adding a bird to her already Amazon jungle-sized flock. If you close your eyes in a 650 square foot apartment with six birds screeching at the same time, it really does feel just like the jungle. My friend’s home might be the first apartment equipped with a statue that doubles as a toilet.
So, our bird-addicted friend soared through the aisles of finches, parakeets, and cockatoos, until she landed on a cage full of peach faced lovebirds. They kind of look like a miniature parrot without the long tail, and lots of colors. They were actually very attractive.
You could have knocked her over with a feather. She could not pluck the money from her purse quick enough. But first the big decision: Which one? They were all a shade of green, only some were much lighter than the others.
My friend, Bird-Zilla, located one with a lighter overall color and a darker peach face as the newest addition to her flock.
“That’s the one,” she excitedly told Ponytail Pet Store guy.
“Well, OK, if you’re sure,” he replied in a hesitant voice.
A hush fell over the group as Ponytail Pet Store Guy awaited the mandatory “what do you mean by that” response from Bird-Zilla. In a suppressed voice, as if telling a dirty joke in a room full of third-graders, he went on to explain that the lighter colored birds were more problematic and were prone to biting humans and causing trouble with other birds.
“But are they not the same breed?” she asked.
“Yes,” said Ponytail Pet Store guy as he explained that, inexplicably, the lighter colored birds were just trouble. He even went on to give a percentage of how many of these nuisance-of-the-nest rabble rousers he had to segregate from the general population.
And, yes, he used the word segregate. It was blatant parakeet profiling! I was beginning to wonder if he used a little birdie water cannon for more effective cockatiel crowd control. I found the whole thing rather amusing until I noticed the expression of horror on the faces of the class. It was my unpopular opinion that with some limits, of course, it’s almost impossible to violate the rights of something that resides in a cage, but others in the group felt something must be said.
Just as they were getting ready to call a feathered friend civil rights foul, up walked John Lennon Glasses Pet Store Guy who had overheard the whole sordid conversation. John Lennon Glasses Pet Store Guy could not disagree more with Ponytail Pet Store Guy. He began to explain how the lighter colored birds were often slightly smaller and forced into desperate acts to obtain their share of food, and proper sleeping and nesting quarters. Once removed from the more punitive environment (the wrong side of the cage, if you will) they became more productive members of the seed eating society.
Right before my eyes I was trapped in a debate between the pet store version of a 1960s governor from the south and a civil rights leader arguing over the social status and worth of lighter and darker colored peach faced lovebirds. It was like cartoon news reel, only in color.
By this time I was no longer unable to mask my amusement, drawing the ire of both my group and the pet store pundits. The battle for right and wrong, good versus evil, had now taken a back seat to a few snickers and an eye roll from me. Suddenly all involved realized the only issue they truly stood united on was their dislike of yours truly.
When finally asked if I had anything constructive to contribute, I told them (trying to lighten the mood) to not pay any attention to me because I’m slightly smaller than average and tend to cause problems. If the pet store had employed a bouncer he would have been summoned immediately.
Ponytail Pet Store Guy and John Lennon Glasses Pet Store Guy were obviously skilled in exchanging intellectual ideas once a crowd of three or more had gathered, and were in no mood for an audience member not treating them with the respect they deserved.
When talk erupted of not selling the bird at all for fear it would be mistreated, because of the questionable company Bird-Zilla keeps, I was instantly banished from the group and opted for self-imposed exile in the parking lot.
From there on all went well. Bird-Zilla, now a full blown power-to-the-peach-face activist with her fist in the air, threw caution to the wind and proudly purchased the lighter colored, notorious troublemaker, to the great joy of John Lennon Glasses Pet Store Guy.
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About the Book
This book outlines what the author believes to be ten important issues or concepts that merit discussion or at least some thought. Some are not new ideas by any stretch of the imagination, but may have been glossed over, over reported or covered and debated so much they may have lost their luster and are worth polishing up for a fresh roll in the brain. The others you will find enlightening if you happen to find yourself in “violation” for lack of a better word. Now with a new official title of “Commandment”, perhaps some older but still relevant concepts may be revived and repaired and the new ideas understood and accepted. Let's face it; it's tough to get a new idea across anyone these days! But when it's a commandment… well how can you say no to a commandment?
Though obviously not written by god himself, the wish is that after finishing the book you will agree that keeping 11 thru 20 in mind and executing the fundamental spirit of the script would not be a bad thing. Just like the original version! History has shown that nothing is fiercer than an aroused mind moving in the direction of positive change.
The Bible is a magnificent book and reveals itself with the wonderful vernacular of the time. Like listening to the inflection and dialect delivered by the actors from a movie shot in the 1930's, turning the pages of the bible is like eaves dropping on another time. But unlike the thirties, these days most men don't call each other “Fella” “Mac” or “Daddy-o” as often as they once did. So to have been dropped words like begat, shalt, and thou. In the interest of smooth reading and less aspirin, Don too shalt… uh… shall leave the tradition speak of the day to the titles of the commandments only, and opt for an easier more casual discussion into their meaning.
About the Author
Don Stuck II is a veteran radio and television host who has worked as a professional musician and emcee for most of his life. With his time divided equally between rock stars, celebrities and the common man, he has found the same timeless issues confront us all. From the stage as an entertainer he has a front row view of the best and worst that mankind has to offer. Combined with spending the last two decades “live on the air”, this way of life has provided a unique vantage point and given him insights into human philosophy that would be impossible to reproduce. Through interview, lecture and no nonsense story telling, Don is now sharing these thoughts and ideas in hopes of providing a path to feeling better even if you didn't feel bad in the first place! This philosopher has traded in the white robe for blue jeans and is outlining important issues, old and new, that are worth a fresh glance. Don is a licensed pilot, a published columnist and is currently host of The Stuck In The Morning Program on X103 in