Soccer, the Left, & the Farce of Multiculturalism

Everyone knows about the pyramids of Egypt. Most also know about the pyramids in Mexico and Central America. Almost no one in America knows about the pyramid in England. (This includes our multiculturalists, who think they know so much more about the rest of the world than other Americans, but who are just as ignorant as everyone else.) Our ignorance is partly due to its not being a physical pyramid but a conceptual one, so it is not a pyramid that one can see the way one sees, for example, Buckingham Palace or the Tower of London. This pyramid consists of all the soccer teams of adult males in the country which are officially registered with England's Football Association (FA). At the top of this pyramid is the top professional league (called the Premiership), consisting of twenty teams. Below this are three lower leagues (called the Championship, League One and League Two), each with twenty-four teams. Below this are some five hundred semipro teams (called nonleague in England), and below this are thousands of amateur teams.... It has been estimated that there are over seven thousand teams total in this pyramid, which is a remarkable figure considering that England's population is about one-fifth that of the United States. In addition, there is a system of promotion and relegation of teams, so that the best teams at one level get promoted up a level at the end of a season, while the worst teams at a level get relegated down. Accordingly, there can be considerable flux down through the years regarding the teams in any one league. Moreover, below this pyramid of official teams are some unofficial pub teams, as well as people playing on a casual basis with friends or in pick-up games....

Outside of the United Kingdom, the pyramid exists to a lesser degree. 

A German friend told me that there is a big gap in quality between professional and semiprofessional teams in Germany. In Brazil, based on what the sociologist Janet Lever has written, the situation is more informal, but it includes many amateur teams, especially those that play in Rio on the beach. The equivalent of minor-league teams scout those beaches and swoop in when they spot someone who seems capable of turning pro, while the major-league teams in turn poach from the minor-league teams.

Getting back to England, let me observe that the existence of this pyramid (and the lack of similar pyramids in our sports) has several consequences, all of which add up to this: England has a better sports environment than we do. Here are the consequences.

I. Second-rate players who are not quite good enough to play in the top league (the Premiership) can still play at a lower level and thus make some sort of living.

Let me contrast this with our sports. It is true that baseball has minor leagues, but below them there are no or very few semi-pro teams where a player could get a little money. (It's because at that level everyone opts for softball, and softball is not a professional sport.) Basketball has very little in the way minor leagues, but the NBA has been fostering a league below it called the NBA Development League, which currently has 16 teams. By comparison, England has 72 minor league teams, even though it has a much smaller population. If we had the equivalent in minor-league basketball, then since we have five times the population of England, the Development League would have to have 360 teams. A mere 16 teams is nothing, and the result is that many players exercise a different option: playing abroad (generally in Europe). But how humiliating to have to go over to soccerland to have one's career. Football has basically nothing. There have been attempts to create minor leagues, but they have not worked very well. The league in Europe has died, while arena football did not have a 2009 season, so the second-rate football player who can't make the NFL has almost no career possibilities. Likewise, the NFL player who can no longer make the team must give up football instead of ending his career playing (and making some money) in a lesser league.

II. Any adult male who is willing, able, and has the time to play can probably find a way to play.

Again, let me contrast this with our sports. It is in basketball that we find the closest parallel to this aspect of soccer. Many people in America play basketball on a casual basis. There are many pick-up games to play in.... With baseball, it is more difficult because people opt for softball rather than baseball. Playing watered-down baseball seems the best that baseball lovers can do in terms of playing their favorite sport.... Football is the worst in that it is very difficult for the casual player to go out to a park and play. 

Because it is so difficult, most people don't bother, and those who do bother will play instead the very-much watered down touch football. 

Touch football compared to real football is quite pathetic, for it lacks the macho factor that makes football so superior to soccer in the eyes of the soccer hater. In England, the person who watches a professional game can go out afterward and play real soccer....

Why is it so difficult for the casual player to go out to a park and play our brand of football? It's because our brand of football is so expensive and inconvenient to play.