It had been a couple of weeks since the revelation of Christopher's mistress and baby, yet Linda's nightmare persisted. Short periods of sleep
intermingled with tossing and turning. Bereft of peace and energy, she wondered if the hell would ever end. She had to have it out with her husband,
come to a decision. Try to make some sense of her life. But how? She couldn't wipe out his other life and revert to the way things were.
Linda showered and dressed quickly. She trudged down to the first floor feeling as if stampeding steers had trampled over her. Things couldn't go on
like this. Yet she had no idea what to do. The aroma of fresh coffee drew her to the breakfast room and the inevitable confrontation.
Christopher had his back to her, feeding bread into the toaster. Such a mundane thing. She pictured him doing the same in Betti's kitchen. More so of late, I'd wager, breakfasting in two households. She stared at his
broad muscular back that once conjured sexual desire. Now she wanted to claw at him for destroying their lives. "Would you like toast?" he
asked without turning.
"Don't trouble yourself. I'll do it." Through the French doors, she viewed a flimsy sun struggling through a gray sky. Just like my life, she
thought wearily.
He slid bread into the toaster, "No trouble."
She noticed the table set for two and how calmly he met her eyes as he poured the coffee. She knew him to be determined and self-reliant in business,
but this was different. Could he really be so composed?
"You okay?" he asked.
"What do you think, Christopher?"
"Let's try to be civil today. We can't continue to hurt each other like this."
"If nothing else I'm civil, Christopher. Haven't I always been civil to you, my sister, my parents, my friends? Did I miss anyone?"
"Linda, I'm sorry. I know I've hurt you dreadfully; but believe me, it wasn't intentional."
She felt her cheeks flush with anger. "Isn't this when you say,' But darling I didn't plan it, it just happened'? Please spare me the dramatics."
He reached for her hand. "Let's at least talk about what we're going to do."
She jerked her hand free.
"I know you don't believe me, but I do care about you."
She pushed her coffee aside and glared at him, "Did you say those words to what's-her-name when you were humping her?"
"Linda, stop it!"
"No, I won't stop it. Tell me about your romance. Did she chase you and beg you to fuck her?"
"It isn't the end of the world because I have a son. I know my responsibility to him. My trust fund will take care of Sean's financial needs."
"Don't patronize me. I don't give a damn what you do with your trust fund. Don't you realize I'll never feel the same about you? You've lied to me.
How many years have you lied to me?"
"Linda, listen to me. We can go on as before. I'll keep sending Sean money every month. Our lives needn't change."
"Our lives changed when your seed took hold in her uterus. Everything is different now. How often will you be gone visiting Sean and what's-her
name? Isn't it wild, the man who didn't want a family now has a son? Your baby will be looking for his daddy. And will you be wondering what he's
doing every day?" It was the first time she spoke the boy's name. It felt strange.
"I suppose you've never done anything you regret, never had a misstep," he shouted.
She slapped him. "How dare you? Are you saying I might have had an affair? Never. I never had an affair. I wanted a marriage like my folks
had. You know, till death do us part." She shook her head. “Isn't that a hoot, Christopher? You married the one woman who still believes marriage
is a sacred covenant. Shades of Dr. Laura."
He rubbed his cheek; then grasped her shoulders. "Stop this nonsense." She pulled free of him. Unable to hold in her emotions any longer, Linda began
to sob.
He gathered her in his arms. "I care about you. I truly do."
It felt so good to be held--but not by him. She couldn't stifle the hate in her heart. She wanted him to suffer as she had. Revenge would consume
her until she hated even herself. She broke free and wiped her tears. "I'm going out."
"When will you be back? We can't go on this way. How can we resolve this?"
She turned away from him. "You figure it out."