Captain Pharto Disciplines The Brats
A Sequel to Frank A Pellegrino's 'Phartom of the Opera - A Classic of the Gasses'
by
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GRANNY’S GET NO RESPECT
I went down to the holler and started my 1996 van,
It didn’t want to start and I thought oh know they are at it again.
It finally started with a vengeance and I drove up the hill,
When a pothole my front tire hit and I thought I had it filled.
I got out and surveyed the situation with a glare of that hole,
What to my surprise were those damn sticks they thought they hid in that pot hole.
My dander was up and I knew I had to skin them alive this time,
So I went to the barn, got my razor strap and that sharp razor blind.
Oh I had a surprise for them this morning as when I left they were nasty nice,
They were snuggled on the couch by the warm fire and little crawling mice.
They didn’t see or hear me come in for they were tantalizing Brenda’s sweet cat,
She only wanted the mice for her dinner and those brats even stopped that.
I overheard them say they were going to put Nair on Brenda’s hair to get revenge,
I knew Brenda used it all sneaked up the steps to my bedroom and found my broken piggy bank on the bed,
I knew those brats had been in there but I’m thinking oh my gosh, Brenda’s head.
With my razor strap and sharp blade, I scurried down the steps to find what I feared,
Brenda bald as an eagle and the brats asleep like they were out in the clear.
I grabbed Ingrid up by her long curly hair and I whacked off the curls one by one,
Used the cold razor on her scalp as she cried please stop are you done.when shaving her legs last time and finished with a razor edge.
Bonnie was hiding under the credenza in the dining room watching it all in fun,
I grabbed the broom from the hallway and poked her till she cried Uncle and I gave a lunge.
I yanked her by her hair and began to scalp her like an Indian so pretty,
Ingrid cried out, I’m sorry Granny I talked Bonnie in to doing all my crazies.
Brenda said they both did this to me and I was duct taped too,
So now I have three bald Eagles looking at you.
Not only are they bald on top but their butts are a sorry sight,
I know in my heart two wrongs don’t make a right.
But if I had left these two brats to continue doing all their crazies,
They will never grow up to be decent young ladies.
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About the Book
“Phartom of the Opera – A Classic of the Gasses” was a witty and fun written book by Frank A. Pellegrino. Frank was 82 years old when he finished this book and as he so often said, he hoped all who would read this book would not be offended and would enjoy the laughter so many appreciate about Mother Nature and her gastric processes in our bodies. We all at some point in our daily lives experience excessive gas in our stomachs and while some find this disgusting others find very funny.
This book “Captain Pharto Disciplines the Brats” is a take off sequel of the return to “Phartom of the Opera – A Classic of the Gasses”
You see, writer friends of Aliceanne Pellegrino-Henricks liked to play with Sticks, Bricks and play terrible tricks. Various disciplines on Earth had been applied, but the writer brats became incorrigible and Granny Aliceanne tried out many forms of discipline. When all seemed to fail, Granny Aliceanne went to Captain Pharto and asked for his help in a different kind of discipline. So enjoy your Pharto Blasto Flights throughout the Universe and perhaps you may want to wear a mask while reading.
Since Frank passed away December 3, 2006 and was not able to complete his Pharto Blasto Missions with these brats. His widow, Aliceanne agreed to write the finishing episodes and hopefully while disciplining the brats in each episode they will entertain you and bring you much laughter. All the episodes are entertaining and of course untrue and the brats unharmed.
About the Author
Aliceanne Pellegrino-Henricks was born in Bloomington, Indiana and lived there until 2001 when she married Frank A Pellegrino and moved to Niagara Falls, New York.
After her late husband’s death in 2006, She remarried George B. Henricks in 2009 on Valentine’s Day. A beautiful life of love and togetherness makes for their happy marriage.
The author is a mother of two children, Tim L. Gilmore and Marianne Gilmore, Jordan. Both children gave her two Grandsons, Timothy Lewis Gilmore II and Zachary Michael Jordan.
The author here writes about her children, grandchildren and the beauty of life, nature and love. She also likes to write humorous stories. Her late husband, Frank A. Pellegrino had written a book called “The Phartom of the Opera – A Classic of the Gasses” and he always thought a sequel should follow. The author here enjoys writing, playing the piano and organ and being a down to earth housewife. With all the sadness in the world, this author enjoys writing about beautiful things and positive ideas.