A Tale Of Two Perspectives
Dynamics of Interpersonal Conflict from a Christian Point of View
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Sometimes it is hard to let go of things like anger, betrayal, or deception. We may even think we have moved on, and then years later, realize the emotions still linger just beneath the surface. Like a sterile, scarred pathway in the yard, worn by an angry dog pulling at the end of his chain, our soul is disfigured by the relentless emotions. We become calloused and desensitized by their constant presence. When couples divorce over issues like adultery, leaving their pain indelibly etched into the innocent faces of their children, genuine forgiveness is often sacrificed to the omnipresent god of acrimony. However, even in these intensely conflicted relationships, I believe God expects us to follow Jesus’ model.
Jesus forgave people he met on the streets and hillsides, the soldiers who beat and crucified him, and his friend Simon Peter, who disgracefully denied knowing him. He gives us a model to follow as we endure the many conflicts in our daily lives. He invites us to forgive the rude driver who causes us to slam on brakes and spill our coffee. He encourages us to forgive the narcissistic boss, the incompetent supervisor, the rude co-worker, even the defiant daughter-in-law with another box of tape recorders. He demonstrates how to forgive those who mortally wound our most intimate relationships and defile our most sacred commitments. He firmly insists that only he or she who is without sin may cast the first stone. Then, he speaks to our hearts in a gentle, graceful and collective whisper, “Go, and sin no more.”
As the Children of Israel wandered the wilderness in search of the Promised Land, they were much like you and me. We wander through the wilderness of each day, encountering disappointments, confusion, frustration, sometimes wild beasts and conflicts of all sorts. Yet, our search is also for a Promised Land, where we are genuinely reconciled with our brothers and sisters, co-workers, neighbors, parents, spouse and children. As we journey through life, encountering uncharted emotions, troubling thoughts and unexpected conflict, sometimes with those whom we love the most, we are reminded of God’s daily presence in our lives.
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About the Book
Siblings will rival. Relatives will drop in and stay too long. Children will demand to know “Why?” Interpersonal conflict is seldom as intense as two gunslingers glaring at each other from ten paces at High Noon. It is seldom as colorful as a red-faced husband and wife, standing in their kitchen, shouting insults. It is more often a tale of two perspectives demanding to be heard. Conflict is one of those peculiar concepts few people can define without a dictionary, but most people know it when they see it! We also want it resolved promptly and to our personal satisfaction. How should Christians resolve interpersonal conflict? Should we simply give in to someone with whom we disagree just to avoid conflict? What are the rules when Christians become petty, insensitive or argumentative? If we love our neighbor as we love ourselves, how do we confront conflict without compromising our values? The solution is to understand and learn to confront the behavior, not the people we love. "A Tale of Two Perspectives" explores the dynamics of interpersonal conflict from a Christian point of view. It blends business conflict resolution strategies with biblical narratives to demonstrate a compelling and innovative point of view. Dr. Norris uses his background as a pastor, chaplain, business executive, husband and father to embroider his work with contemporary examples that may sound uncomfortably familiar. He examines how our communication style, personality, attitudes, emotions, frame of reference and spiritual values influence our capacity to resolve conflict effectively.
About the Author
Dr. Kenneth R. Norris is no stranger to the dynamics of interpersonal conflict. As a pastor, hospital chaplain, conflict mediator and business executive, he has engaged conflict at many levels of intensity. He has developed workshops on interpersonal conflict, transitioning from peer to supervisor and Christians in crisis. He received the Doctor of Ministry from the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary and received clinical training at the University Hospital in Augusta, GA. He is also certified in personality assessment.