“No ! I know I hurt you…I can’t apologize enough! And I can’t seem to make you believe that
I won’t do it again! Jake told me that I have to earn your trust again…but damn it! Why won’t you give me a break? You have a beautiful daughter…but you did doubt that she was yours when I was pregnant with her. So, if you don’t want us, say so, because we’ll move upstate and you will be able to have Deana free and clear .” Amber impatiently wiped at the tears on her face.
“Stop it.”
“And you seem to get an I don’t want to see you or talk to you attitude after you talk to her.
Please correct me if I’m wrong.” Once she started with all that had been on her mind, Amber couldn’t stop.
“What’s gotten into you?”
“Oh, no! Don’t go turning this on me! Either you want me or you don’t.”
“Amber…don‘t do this.”
“Come on, Ricky! You told me that I could take all the time I needed to prove to you that I’m here for good but you know what? I’m done trying to convince you! You keep coming to me, making me think that you’re here to stay and then she speaks and you listen, shutting me out. I can’t do it any more!”
Ricky’s eyes flashed. “Amber! Will you listen to me?” He sounded angry.
“Okay…talk. Explain things to me.”
“Explain what? You can’t explain to me why you couldn’t call or come back to me after you walked out…or explain why you couldn’t call to let me know that you were pregnant. So, what do you want to hear? There’s no words to describe how I felt when I finally realized that you were gone for good…that you weren’t going to call or come back to me. Work was the only thing that held me together. Isn’t it ironic that what kept me from falling apart was what drove you away? And then Deana came to work at the squad. At first I wasn’t interested in her. It was over a month before I finally accepted an invitation to have coffee with her. I told her about you, not thinking at the time about getting involved with anyone. I talked and she listened. It was different with her…she wasn’t A.J. and Sara, who knew you so well. Deana hung in there, trying to keep my mind off you. A month or so later, we went out for dinner and then I accepted her offer to go back to her place… where I spent the night.”
Amber’s body stiffened at his words.
“What‘s wrong? I thought you wanted me to explain things…and Deana’s part of the explanation. I loved you, Amber…and I hoped that she could take away the hurt. It took a long time before you weren’t in my thoughts all the time. Deana knew but she didn’t leave me. But then, oh!, out of the blue, you come back, messing with my life…and Deana’s.”
More tears fell. “Then stay with her.”