She Got A New Attitude and That's How She Found Love

My Awakening My awakening began in my early thirties Back in high school all of my friends had boyfriends except me. I was always what they called the tom boy type. However, what I realize now is I was always the relationship type. I wanted what I felt like my parents had. A real relationship two people in love forever. The problem is no one ever explained to me all the ups and down a relationship goes through to get there. I grew up in a house hold with both parents. My parents have been married for thirty years and my plan was to do the same. My first relationship lasted from the age of 16-21. Like I said I'm the relationship type! I left that relationship with a child and no ring. At the time I felt like I had failed at love. My mind was everywhere with emotions, and question that where unanswered. Looking back on it all I had no business being in a relationship at such a young age. I told myself the next relationship was forever. Two years later I met my husband. Yes I claimed him as my husband on the first date he just didn't know it. Little did I know he was thinking the same way. He popped the big question by September of the year 2002. They say every woman wants to be married. I sure did, but if I had of known I was not ready I would have waited. We were divorced by 2008. What I learn in this relationship is sometimes relationships don't work because your not ready. I had no idea of what a marriage should be. I may not have had many relationships, but I have learned what many take a life time to learn. The main thing I've learned is that a woman’s emotions can ruin a wet dream. Also that men have us all figured out. As long as men are able to play on our emotions we are putty in their hands. How did we end up in such a fantasy? As girls we are prepared for adulthood at an early age. How many times have you played house growing up? I can still remember the pillow under my shirt forming a fake belly. Standing there with my hand on my hip I was do any day. Shaking my finger at my baby dolls I was the mama. Meanwhile, my brother was outside playing in the mud with his cars. Growing up as a girl I always loved playing dress up, baby dolls, and pretend. When I look back on it I realized how fake life has been. I realized my emotions were all made up in this pretend world and fantasy. There is no white picket fences and perfect life. At lease not the kind woman are looking for. Now that I am an adult it is time to peel back the layers and get real. I believe that woman have been in this pretend world for so long, we think men are apart of our world too. Well it's because of this kind of thinking love is still a mystery. Love may give us many different roads to travel down. However, deciphering between the roads will not become clear unless we learn to control our emotions. It's time for a new attitude! Looking through pretend eye’s everything goes your way because your in charge. Have you ever heard these word "stop being so emotional"? Another question how do you get rid of something that your born with? We must take some factors into account before we come to any conclusions. We have to look at a females up bring, and the role it has played with our emotions. Young girl's are taught at an early stage in life that it is okay to cry. However, emotions should not be expressed as much as they are felt. If you pat a child when they cry they will only cry longer. If you tell them they will be okay, and encourage them to move on it makes them stronger. Could it be possible that we are the weaker beings? I believe that everything has reason behind it. Those reasons may not be intentional, but there are reasons. I realize I'm less emotional when I just tell myself the truth and not make excuses. The truth lye’s in my understanding of self, how I express, the way I express, and the effect it has on my life. Growing up in my household my father didn't believe in punishing his daughters. He took a different approach with my brothers. How many times in life have your behavior, or actions been excused because you are a woman? Woman say they are independent, but truth is we don't even know what independence is because most of us have never experienced it. Men continue to shield woman from those things that bring out a woman’s emotions. If a woman was able to see pass her emotions how powerful would she be? This is what lead me to see how many women were actually lost in love. Both men and woman alike have lost themselves in the emotions connected to love. But us women have taken it to a whole new level. My goal is to show women who are in search of true love how to get there. Therefore, I have become dedicated, and determined to prove that we are much more than an emotional woman. In fact we hold all the power. I discovered that the three main things that hold us back from love are simple. It is not listening to our hearts, not loving ourselves, and the emotional quest when finding true love. We have all been a victim to the lack of control of our emotions. Allowing the world to be ran by men, and not receiving the love we deserve. Woman and men have for centuries followed their minds instead of their hearts. We have searched high and low for the answers to love. Hell everybody needs someone to love! You may ask why do we continue to get hurt by those we love?