We Climbed Every Mountain

OUR NEW LIFE BEGINS March 13, 1971, our wedding day. It was a beautiful day but one which at times seemed as though it would never happen. There was no doubt Mom and Dad (Ray) were not happy with this engagement; and I knew Mother had good reason for her dissatisfaction: Don was 14 years older than me; every Mother wants a gentleman for her daughter who can take care of her (not for her to take care of) and Mom knew I had always dreamed and planned for a temple marriage. Mother could see, where I was too blindly in love to see, a temple marriage was not going to happen in the near future. But still Mother had always been determined her daughters would have the story-book wedding they had always dreamed of; and I did. As soon as the holidays were over, January 1971 (since we could not do anything until after our secret engagement was announced to my sorority sisters), reality begin to set in—there was going to be a wedding in less than 3 months. Mother and I first of all shopped for the dresses. I had always imagined Mom would make my dress but when we saw just what I had always dreamed of on sale, there was no thought of what to do but buy. My dress had a lovely square laced neckline, hoop skirt with yards and yards of lace. It was a size 2 and still needed some alterations. I barely weighed 95 pounds and was 5’1” (Don was 6’2”). My wedding colors were lime green and yellow. Glenda was to be the matron of honor and her dress was a lovely lime green satin which mother made as well as the three brides maids dresses; each a spring colored floral print. Aunt Donna decorated the three-tier cake and Mom and I figured out the decorations while many good friends helped to decorate the cultural hall. A young bride could not have been better endowed with gifts to begin her new life. My sorority sisters gave me a shower, my girlfriends from church and work gave me a shower followed by Mom, Grandma and their friends giving me a bridal shower. A bridal registry was set up and gifts were coming days before and after the wedding. But there was much more going on behind the scenes. At Mother and Dad’s request I called the church general authorities office and asked for an appointment to see Elder LeGrand Richards. Elder Richards did not know me from “Adam & Eve” but he was Dad (Ray’s) great-great uncle. I told Elder Richards about Don and I; how long we had been dating and now we were planning to marry much against the wishes of my parents. He asked if it was going to be a temple wedding of which I insisted it was. Other questions followed (was this something we could physically handle, what about if we had children, would we be able to care for them (of course we were going to have children and yes we could care for our children)) and then Elder Richards gave me his blessings. President Phil Sontage, a member of our stake presidency, owned a jewelry store on the main floor of the Atlas Building where I was working in the UCP office. I always looked forward to waving hello to President Sontage as I came in and out of the building. One day I stopped in the jewelry store and asked President Sontage if I could talk to him. I told him about Don and I’s courtship and how happy I was we were planning a wedding but how difficult it was to be planning a wedding when my parents were so adamantly against it. President Sontage reminded me I was my own person and must make the final decision myself. But was I really aware of everything my new life was going to entail? Was I really willing to be Don’s right hand person for the rest of our lives? Was this really going to be a marriage for eternity? To all these questions I answered “yes” and each time President Sontage gave me his blessing. He then gave me a hug and ushered me to the elevator and off to work. (Several years later, when Mike got married they had a wedding luncheon in which President and Sister Sontag was present. Name cards were used at the tables and I was seated next to President Sontage. I had flown up for the occasion, from California, armed with pictures of two precious little boys—2 years and 6 months old. Of course President Sontage wanted to know how things were going and I was beaming as I told him about Don and I’s life in California along with the pictures. “See, we knew what we were talking about, didn’t we,” said President Sontage, with another great big hug and congratulations.) Invitations were ordered—all 200. According to the invitations we were getting married Saturday morning, March 13, 1971 in the Salt Lake Temple with a reception from 7-9 in our ward cultural hall. It is amazing how naive and closed mind we are when we are in love. All my life, I had sworn I would never marry outside the temple and I convinced myself Don and I would be going through the temple on our wedding day. Sunday evening, a week before our wedding day, the doorbell rang. Bill pushed Don into the house and left. This was not our usual, exciting get-together. Don had something on his mind. (Was he getting cold feet; was he about to call the wedding off? No it was worse than that). Don had just been informed by his bishop he could not give him a temple recommend at this time. Don “promised” me he would be ready to go within a year (the standard wait time when one opts for a civil marriage before a temple marriage, but also the standard phrase for someone in this predicament— “Marry me now and we’ll go next year on this date). But Don also asked “Do you want to call the wedding off for now?” “No, I do not,” was my matter of fact reply. “I love you and I know you love me. We WILL go to the temple later and it will be all the more meaningful to us. Mom and Dad had been so much against this wedding from the beginning—and now this change of plans was not going to set well at all; but because the wedding was only a week away Mom knew all the talking in the world was not going to change our plans. But now we had to add more to our already hectic week—we had to arrange for an actual wedding at the church. The morning of March 13 began with a wedding breakfast at the Ramada Inn. This was the first time my parents and family had met Don’s parents and family (since Don’s family were still living in Buhl, Idaho and didn’t get down to Ogden very often). When breakfast was over several of us ran off to get our hair done, while Mike, TJ and Kelly ran off skiing as they convinced Mom and Dad the season was almost over and they just HAD to get in one more ski trip this season. They almost didn’t make it back in time for the wedding and the ski resorts did remain open for another month. The plans were the wedding ceremony would be at 5 o’clock so we could be ready for the prepaid wedding pictures at 6:00 and the reception at 7:00. The ceremony, though not a temple ceremony and only married till “death do us part,” was lovely. By 6:00 the wedding party was in the cultural hall waiting for pictures to be taken—but where was the photographer? We waited and waited and waited, but no photographer showed. Thank goodness for all the Polaroid pictures taken before and during the wedding. Mom was on the phone first thing Monday morning wanting answers as to why the photographer was a no show. It depends on which story the reader wants to believe. My story, the one Mom told me, was the photographer was not feeling good that day and laid down to rest before the wedding, fell asleep and slept right through our wedding. Don’s version was the photographer got drunk that afternoon and FORGOT our wedding. The photographer did, however, return Mom’s money, asked us to collect the pictures taken and he did put together a wedding photo album for us from the Polaroid pictures taken. The photographer also came out to Don and I’s home and took more pictures of us there—me in my wedding dress and Don in a suit (not his tuxedo). We got through the day without too much incident. We had had teachers, pastors, bishops, UCP board members and field rep