I was aware of my daughter's presence in the room. I have nightmares about the horrified expression on her face and her steady stream of tears. In my 27 years with her, I have heard her sob, but never like this. My daughter was gripped with fear that she might lose her mother. It is a look that no mother should have to see on her child. Her face was wrinkled, she gasped for breath and her eyes were red and swollen. I felt that I had to live, just to take away her pain. I am crying as I write this, just remembering how upsetting it was.
My daughter witnessed the doctor shooting my body with epinephrine as I lay on the table, motionless and purple. When my body reacted to the drug, she saw me jump up and scream. I learned that later, from my husband, as I was in and out of consciousness. Instead of a birthday celebration to make my daughter smile, there was terror in her eyes as she helplessly looked on. She was so despondent that one of the first things that Dr. Beine asked two years later when talking to him was, “How is your daughter?”
I also saw my troubled husband, who was holding the curtain and mumbling. I thought he was saying that he loved me. I asked him later and he said that he was praying. I know it means the same thing. It is a scene that I would like to erase from my memory. I wanted to talk to my husband and daughter but I couldn't speak. Although I was in no physical pain, I was totally frustrated and sad for my family. All I wanted to do was tell them I loved them and that I was not in pain.
In the past two years so many wonderful things have happened. Or is it that I only see wonderful things? I have had time to know my adorable son-in-law, danced at my daughter's wedding and I will soon see my son graduate from law school. Before I got sick, I doubted my friendships. My heart attack me me realize that people are so wonderful and I am so blessed with friends. It is common for people to be too busy and take friendships for granted. We shouldn't do that. You never know what tomorrow may bring. As the saying goes, “Life is not a dress rehearsal.” Let's stop giving lip service to ideas without practicing them. If things happen for a reason, then I believe the reason I am a cardiac arrest survivor is to help save lives through education.
I have a voice and I have chosen to use it. I need your help. If you are a woman or if you love a woman, then I am inviting you to join my team. Please tell every woman that you love that heart disease is her greatest health threat. Love yourself and start making the changes you need to be heart healthy. Maria, Robinson, a health educator said, “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” Live your life and live it well. I have learned what your loved ones really want for their birthdays, weddings and graduations is to spend them with you.
Why should you buy this book:
Heart disease is known as the “silent killer”. Many women have died without warning signs or symptoms that they are even aware of. Buy this book if you are a woman or love a woman. One in three women die from heart disease. That is approximately one death every minute. This statistic can be changed through education as heart disease is highly preventable. This book will educate you on heart health and help you to become proactive in the prevention of heart disease.