My Thoughts Are My Reality

About the Book

When I was 8 yrs old I started writing poetry about my life experiences, growing up poetry has been my stress reliever and great therapy. Since I'm a thinker 45% of my poetry are about my thoughts or things I would always imagine in my mind. Most of the things I write about a lot of people can relate to young or old. There are poems I have that will break your heart, make you cry, and make you smile. I think my poetry can put a voice not only to me but people that has been through so much and have felt like they would never feel important or loved.

About the Author

Early one morning in January, 1989, Martha Edmond was born in Vicksburg, Mississippi, Martha was raised in Vicksburg and lived there until she was 7 yrs old, when Martha was 7 she moved to California. When she left Mississippi she had this bitter feeling in heart, Martha knew that once she left Vicksburg her life would never be the same. As a child Martha was always happy and full of life when she was around her family, but whenever she was surrounded by people she didn't know Martha was very shy and quiet. Martha was very close to her older brother Joseph and her younger brother John, Martha always looked up to her older brother because he was more outspoken then she was and she wanted to be just like him. When Martha and her brothers moved to Mississippi everything seemed great in the beginning but very soon things became a whole lot worse. Martha use to see and hear her mother get verbally and physically abused by her step dad, Martha didn't understand why her step dad was abusing her mother but she knew she couldn't do anything about it. There were times when Martha's mom called the police on her step dad and have him arrested, while her step dad was locked up everything went back to the way they use to be before her step dad came into the picture. For some odd reason Martha's mom Angela would go visit her step dad in jail and they would act like nothing ever happened, the abuse went on until Martha was a teenager even though the physical abuse stopped the verbal abuse didn’t but she never gotten over it. When Martha was 13 she noticed that her mom wasn’t the mother she knew and loved, Angela became more like Martha’s step dad, her mom was more upset then usually she would get mad at every small thing Martha and her brother’s did. Since Martha was a child her mother was always harder on Martha’s older brother and when her got fed up he moved away to go stay with other relatives but when that happened that’s when Martha became the target of her mom’s anger. As a teenager Martha and her mom’s relationship changed for the worse, Martha became more distant from everyone and she always felt like she hated her mother and she believed that her mother didn’t care about her. When Martha started high school she stared cutting herself, she tried to make the pain go away by hurting herself and writing poetry but as she got older she stopped cutting herself and she started to take pills and other drugs for no reason at all. When ever Martha was in school she always seemed distracted with her problems she didn’t do her work in certain classes. Trying to numb the pain she felt, Martha would look in the medicine cabinet when every one was sleeping but whenever she felt lower than the ground she walked one Martha tried to commit suicide, this went on until Martha was an adult. Now that she’s grow Martha try dealing with her pain in a different way, even though Martha doesn’t abuse drugs any more she still feels tempted at times but she doesn’t let herself get weak until the point she wants to abuse drugs. Since Martha can remember she has always wanted to feel like she has a purpose in life or she wanted to feel loved and to fit in. The only time when Martha can remember she was happy was when she was child before she moved to California, no matter when she did Martha always felt like a failure and no matter what she did right it was never enough. Martha wasted so many years dwelling on her problems she let life pass her by while she stayed at one place in her life, but now she is determined to be the woman she always wanted to be. Poetry has always played a big part in Martha’s life and it has gotten her through some of the most trying times in her life like dealing with the death of a family member, trying to over come committing suicide and other hard times in her life, writing poetry gives Martha the opportunity overcome life experiences better than she has in the past. Martha is now walking with God and she do what she can to help the people around her, she is more positive and strong minded then ever before.