Wednesday July 18, 2007
Subject: Yup, two in a row!
You know what? I figure if I can't be at camp helping out teenagers, maybe I can help others out with my emails. I know I just sent an email yesterday, but something is telling me that I need to write this email, that someone needs to read it.
I just finished reading this book that Sean bought me. It's the Chicken Soup for Survivors (those who know me well know I love the Chicken Soup series and I own tons of them). The entire book is about people who have survived cancer and live to tell their stories. It really got me thinking, you know, I'm blessed to have the type of cancer I have. I'm blessed to have the support system that I have. I'm blessed to live in Texas and only be four hours away from MD Anderson Cancer Center. I'm blessed to have a mom who is a nurse and can spot things others might not. I'm blessed that I know who God is, and I see what He can do.
While reading this book, the majority of the people looked at cancer as a death sentence. The minute they found out their diagnosis, they immediately asked, "what's my survival rate?” I thought to myself, I never even asked that question. Turns out my survival rate for the type of cancer I have has a 95% success rate, and I'm already in remission. I mean, really, how much greater can God get?
I really started to think about everything, and as I was reading this book, a lot of these people automatically looked at cancer as a death sentence. They automatically think, cancer is going to kill me and there's nothing I can do about it. But they begin to think about things, and they put things into perspective, and they slowly realize that God is the most important thing and so much of the healing process lies within the attitude of the person who has cancer and the attitude of the people around them. If the people around you become depressed and down, how in the world is the person who is sick supposed to stay motivated?
Although I am in remission, it's hard to think about the next six months and how I will get through it. There will be bad days, guaranteed, and I face a lot of giants in the near future. I can choose to be scared, which of course, I am, and I can choose to fight it with all I've got, which I will. Although I am scared about it all, I know I will get through it, there is no doubt in my mind what the outcome will be. I will rely on my faith, and I know who will get me through this. I found a great quote.
"Fear knocked at the door. Faith answered it....no one was there."- Anonymous
So, you have to remember how important God is in your life. There is no denying it, and those who don't realize it better open up their eyes because eventually, you will come to a point where you come face to face with Him and have to make a decision. You want others to see God through you, and you can't do that if you are depressed all the time. These last few days I've had a rough time thinking about the next six months, but I decided today that I need to just take things day by day and keep prayin'. I truly truly believe in the power of prayer, and I really think that when people just close their eyes and start talking to God it will honestly make you feel so much better, at least I know it makes me feel better. There is nothing greater than being in a room with people praying, and knowing that these people are being broken by God and He will lead them in the right direction to be healed.
You have the option. It's right in front of you, and all you have to do is take it. You need to count your blessings, not your worries. Don't try to fight it, and don't try to talk yourself into thinking, "oh, if I tithe every week, if I pray every so often, if I witness to one person a month......" because eventually those thoughts will turn into, “well, God will forgive me for that drink I drank, God will forgive me saying that cuss word, God will forgive me doing those things that I shouldn't be doing." Yes, God will forgive you, but you cannot keep saying, "God will forgive me every time, so it's ok if I keep doing it.” Like I said, it's totally within your reach. The walk of faith is not easy; I believe it's harder for people who do believe than those who don't believe. The outcome is so rewarding though. You just have to believe in Him, and trust in him, and love Him, because He loved you enough to give His son. I know everyone has heard that so many times, but think about how much you love your children, those who have them. You know you would do anything for them.....but would you let them hang on a cross with nails in his or her hands and feet, crown of thorns, and know they would die?
Seriously think about it. It just popped into my mind how amazing everything is. Just think about it.
I know that I am young, and people keep telling me that I inspire them. I don't. It's flattering to hear people tell me that, but it's not me. I don't inspire you, it's God working through me. It's not me you see, it's God. Not me.
On a medical note, we figured out why I had so much pain in the hospital. When I was getting my chemotherapy, it would suppress my bone marrow, killing off my good cells. Well, when I had the break from the chemo, my bone marrow went into overdrive making good cells and apparently that was what caused all my pain. Interesting huh? Oh ya, my new central line? Works like a charm. I love it, and the people at MD Anderson better like it too because I don't want any more put in! Pray for my long day tomorrow, and pray that we can figure out some kind of schedule so I can be in Corpus for the majority of it. And that the feeling in my fingers and toes will come back because I'm tired of them being numb! And that I will stop being so gosh darn shaky. Ok I'm done. I have quotes for you today, so I hope that excites some of you.
Love choo all....
*Lauren*
"In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps." Proverbs 16:9 (NIV)
"'But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds', declares the Lord". Jeremiah 30:17 (NIV)
"For only God can know these things....the day, the hour, the time, but on this day I am alive and all the world is mine."-Jill Warren
"Happiness isn't about what happens to us, it's about how we perceive what happens to us. It's the knack of finding a positive for every negative, and viewing a setback as a challenge. If we can just stop wishing for what we don't have, and start enjoying what we do have, our lives can be richer, more fulfilled, and happier. The time to be happy is NOW."-Lynn Peters
"If you accept defeat, that's what you are going to get."-Unknown
stick with me...one more quote....read every word of it.
"The past is gone, but NOW is forever. The future does not lie in our hands, but the future lies in the hands of the present. Go out and grasp the seconds of the day as if you only had that day to live. Experience and enjoy the moments of your life. We only have one life to live, so live it like a champion. Everyone was put here for a purpose, so let that purpose rise up about and show everyone what you're made of. I'm not telling you how you should live, but how you should feel when you look back on the memories of a once-upon life of yours. Don't regret things later. If you feel it is right, do it. It's your life and nobody else’s. Make decisions that please you. Let nobody put you down. Don't live in anybody's shadow or dreams. If you do have a dream, act on it and it will probably come true."-Chicken Soup for the Survivors Soul- Jack Canfield