Lifestyle Change

Stacey began walking faster and faster, her 2” heels beating the pavement in a rhythm as she stepped up her pace. It was December and the air was cold. She was gasping for breath and finally broke into a run. Her heart was racing as she made it to her apartment building. Pushing the doorman out of the way, she ran up the stairs to her apartment on the first floor, automatically reaching into her bag for her keys as she did so. She unlocked the door and slammed it shut. She headed straight for the bedroom, dropping the keys and her purse on the floor, and kicking off her shoes on the way. She fell on the bed, face down. Squeezing her eyes tightly, she tried to fight off feelings of panic.

“What is happening?” she wondered. She felt that someone was following her to harm her, but could not decide if it was real or a figment of her imagination. No one had accosted her, but she had a strange feeling. It was a feeling of dread, the kind you felt in the pit of your stomach when you heard a weird sound in the dead of night that led you to believe it might be a burglar. You would lay awake until you identified the source, and it turned out to be harmless. With the light of day your fears would disappear, allowing you to scoff at what seemed so scary the night before.

This was the third time Stacey had raced home because she believed that a man was stalking her. The first time she had noticed him was three weeks ago. She had left her office late one night and went to take the subway home. When she was in the middle of the second flight of stairs in the subway, she became aware of someone behind her. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed a red scarf. It was the same scarf she had seen on the street level at the subway entrance. She figured it was just a fellow passenger but entered a subway car farther down the platform to play it safe. After she took a seat, she peered through the glass at the interlocking door of the next car to see if anyone with a red scarf had gotten on the same train, but did not notice anyone or anything out of the ordinary. When the train arrived at her stop, she quickly stepped out and headed up the stairs to the street level. There were quite a few people around, even though it was late, so she felt safe. When she reached the first corner and turned onto Kingston Avenue, she glanced back and out of the corner of her eye saw the red scarf. She could not believe it. “Stop being silly,” she told herself. “It is someone who works in the city, takes the same train, and gets off at the same stop as you, lots of people do.” She walked into a grocery store and made her way to the back and over to the second aisle so that she could get a good view through the window of the passersby. A man wearing a black coat with the collar turned up, tied with a red scarf, and a hat and dark glasses passed the store. “Dark glasses at this time of night, odd!” she muttered to herself. After waiting five minutes she walked out the store towards President Street. As she crossed over Union Street, she noticed the same man standing by a car on the opposite side of the street looking at her. She began walking quickly, all the time telling herself that it was just a coincidence. She broke into a run when she turned the corner to her apartment and did not look back.

She saw him next by her workplace when she had stepped out for lunch. He was looking directly at her when she came out of her building. She had walked a few doors down the street to see if he would follow her, but it did not appear that he did. And now it had happened again today. The same man had followed her, wearing the same red scarf. She had noticed him when she came out of the train. He was standing there with his face averted from her. She went into the store again, but this time he did not pass the store. After waiting fifteen minutes she came out and did not see him. She breathed a sigh of relief thinking she may have been a bit paranoid. She began walking but threw a glance over her shoulder. After a few steps, she looked back again and this time she saw him coming in her direction. She then turned the corner and ran to her apartment. Her heart was racing as she recalled what had occurred. “You have to be calm, Stacey,” she whispered to herself. “This is all just a bad case of jitters.” She did not know why anyone would want to follow, much less hurt her. She thought about calling the cops, but wondered what she would say to them. “Is this for real,” she wondered, “or is it a mere coincidence?”

She got up from the bed and went to the living room to the mini-bar to get a drink. She needed something to calm her nerves. She flicked on the television to look for a comedy show that would help to take her mind off what had happened, but she could not concentrate. The phone rang and she took a deep breath and answered with a cheery “hello.” It was her friend Belinda, who wanted to know if Stacey had everything prepared for the party that evening. Stacey had forgotten about the party, but quickly gathered her thoughts. “Oh, yes, I am almost done,” she lied. It was a surprise party for their friend Diane, and Stacey had promised to cook a chicken dish. She had organized the party with Diane’s husband, Mike. Everyone knew that Stacey was good at planning such things because she managed to bring the right people together to get things done and she took care of the details. Additionally, she was popular, with lots of friends and was always the life of a party. There were many gatherings at her home as she loved to cook and entertain.

Stacey seemed to have it all going for her. She was smart, attractive, with a great body. She always wore fabulous clothes in the latest fashion, styled her long hair weekly, and kept her dark-skinned body fine-tuned with daily exercise. She never had a problem with her dark skin as some people did. She never pretended to be someone she was not and thanked God that her parents had instilled in her a sense of self-worth. Additionally, her job as a buyer at a clothing store made it possible for her to get wonderful bargains, go on trips around the globe, dine in the finest restaurants, and meet famous people. Her job appeared glamorous, but it was stressful work requiring a lot of attention to detail. Some merchants were difficult to deal with, especially when reviewing their products or negotiating contracts, but she was unwavering in order to get the best deal in quality and cost.

She loved her lifestyle. It was work, party, men, in that order, and she was okay with it until recently. Lately, she felt out of sorts and a bit restive. It was as if something was missing, but she could not fathom what it was. A vague memory would come to her at times, but would elude her when she tried to grasp it. She believed that if she could identify what it was, it would bring her great relief. In a bizarre way, the incident earlier somehow seemed to tie into the restless feelings. She shuddered as the memory flashed though her mind.