ALL ACTION, NO TALK!

MY PURPOSE I want to take you on journey with me to where it all began. In 1994 I became a husband and a father for the first time. Like a lot of people I didn’t have the ideal childhood so I vowed to myself that when I became an adult I would remedy this by having the best marriage possible and giving my children the childhood I didn’t have. All I ever wanted was to be a good husband and a great dad for my children. This became especially true when I lost my oldest son in 2008. I took a long hard look at my life and it was not where I wanted it to be. I needed things to change but in order for that to happen I had to do what we all must do at some point and that’s lay it all out on the table so to speak. I had to identify the problems and make the necessary changes in order to be the man I wanted to be. It is my hope, that as you read this book, that I have presented the events of my life in a way that will not only teach but encourage you to keep moving forward no matter what life may throw at you. In each chapter you will be presented with a story about an event that happened in my life and how I handled each situation. I did not always make the best decisions or conduct myself in the best way as you will see. As you continue to read, you will learn what I discovered upon my reflection on the aftermath. I do this in an effort to either save you from headaches, or if you are already in the mix of a similar situation, my goal is to turn on a light and point you to the exit. I wrote this book in an effort to encourage people to be analytical. I ask you to go outside of the emotions that can consume us and redirect your energy in a more useful direction. I didn’t want to be just another author that wrote a book telling you what they needed to do. I wanted to assist you in trying to figure out what it is that is not working for you personally. At the end of each chapter you will be presented with a challenge. These exercises are designed with the goal of helping you to take action. The purpose is to take a closer look at what is currently happening in your life and pinpoint what it is that is not benefiting you and change it. Is it is how you respond and interact with those around you, or could it possibly be events from your childhood that may be hindering you from moving in a positive direction? The one thing that we all have to realize and ultimately come to terms with is that no matter what others say or do, our reactions play a large part in the final outcome. This book will cause you to focus your attention and reflect on yourself and your situation a little differently. Yes, you will have to pull out the old pencil and paper but don’t worry I’ve tried my best not to bore you to death. When you finish this book, and set it down for the final time, I want you to walk away knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are strong and you do have the ability to change the things that you thought were insurmountable in your life. The one thing that will always hold true is the fact that you are human. Whether you’re married, divorced, searching for a new relationship, having difficulties in your current one or you are a single parent. You may not have children or like a lot of us you may have had a difficult childhood. No matter your situation the fact that you are human automatically guarantees you a few things. First of all, just like the saying goes, there will always be taxes and we can’t escape death. Secondly, life happens and you will always make mistakes. I don’t need a crystal ball to tell you that you or someone you know or love will do or say something that can’t be taken back. Once again I say to you, how you react is the key. The reason I feel that I must stress this point is because it took a long time for this to click with me, and it is a fact that I always come back to when I speak. Let me say now that this book is not going to make your relationships perfect. I also want to state that in some cases, for your mental, physical and financial well-being, it will be necessary to sever all ties with those who are unwilling to change and cause nothing but detriment in your life. In more cases however, the effort you put forward to make key relationships be at the very least cordial is worth it. This is especially true for the parents that are reading this book. Being the father of six beautiful surviving children, I can’t stress the importance of a father’s presence in the life of his children enough and I will get quite in depth on that topic. My book will give you suggestions based on mistakes that I have made and actions I have taken in order to get a favorable response. Nothing happened over night; let me also be very clear when I say this. Every positive response happened over time. Forget weeks, I am talking months and in some cases there were some very frustrating years, but I kept going and everything I will present to you has worked. Is this book the end all be all gospel? No, but what it has been designed to be is a sort of blueprint. I am going to present you with facts and be as honest as I can. I want you to know that I have been where you are and I truly understand the struggles you are facing because I’ve faced them myself. When I say to you, “You have the strength to change your life despite adversity”, I know this to be true because I have been through hell and back. I have also been blessed enough to see situations change for my benefit. My lessons did not leave me unscathed but those experiences were very valuable teachers. My purpose in this life is to help others by using my knowledge to try to bring a positive end to the cycles that perpetuate the definition of insanity in their life. So if you are ready, get set, here we go!