The Rabbit Report
The Strange Case of the Missing Ginger
by
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Bunny Warren. He had been born a normal Rabbit kitten until, one day, he had burrowed into a Second World War underground store. He was young and foolish and the blue liquid leaking from an old container tasted sweet. How was he to know it was a brew to be used in a possible chemical warfare exchange? Within a month he was growing rapidly and speaking English. One day he met a school girl named Naomi. Bunny promised that, if she kissed him, he would turn into an English Brad Pitt. Naomi was a studious type and had no time for a boyfriend, but a talking Rabbit was rather cool, so she took him home. The Rabbit was kept in her dad’s huge garage until she went to University. By then, Bunny was 5 feet 8 inches and he went to work with a shady friend of Naomi’s, Tricky Trevor Tombs who was a Private Eye. He figured no-one would believe the man sized Rabbit watching them was a detective, so put Bunny onto collecting evidence for divorces. Trevor’s associate partner was Jane Muggins, who Bunny fell in love with at first sight. Jane, her with hair the colour of fresh straw, eyes of sapphire, and a tongue that could cut barb wire. The shady Trevor disappeared one day, leaving the agency to be run by Bunny and Jane.
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About the Book
Once upon a time, a young grey Rabbit explored a forgotten WW2 chemical dump. Being young and foolish he drank some sweet tasting liquid. Very soon he was experiencing growing pains and, by the age of one, was five feet eight inches high and talking English with a South London accent. He called himself, rather un-originally, Bunny Warren and become a bit of a Dick; a sleazy, alcoholic, wise cracking, Private Eye. This is a report of one of the investigations of Bunny Warren, the Strange Case of the Missing Ginger. When a lady goes missing from a premier rate call line, Bunny and his beautiful assistant Jane, go in search of her. Along the way, they get drawn into a web of bad guys, fiesty females and a very odd mad scientist.
About the Author
Dave Figg comes from Battersea, South London, England, with a family background of labourers, washer women and inmates of the workhouse. Two ancestors did die in notable circumstances. One died at Waterloo - fell off platform 5 in front of the 9.20am to Sevenoaks. Another died with General Custer at the Little Big Horn - he was not a combatant; he was camping in the next field and went across to complain about the noise. As a child, Dave's family moved regularly, but he always managed to track them down. Sport was always key in the Figg family. Dave comes from a long line of Boxers, except for his Granddad who was a Dalmatian. Dave has always been a keen footballer and usually played right back - right back in the bar. The family are supporters of Chelsea football club, except for Ma Figg. She was a Manchester United supporter as she liked Bobby Charlton. Luckily, she retained more hair than him, even into her eighties. Dave was pleased Bunny Warren chose him to write 'the Rabbit Report' even if he was the only person who would do it. He hopes you enjoy it.