Jonathan’s Miracle
A Mother’s Love, A Mother’s Loss, and God’s Faithfulness
by
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…For every parent who has loved with every fiber of their being…lost, and never imagined they could survive.
For anyone yearning to know… “How could God possibly bring good out of this? ”
Jonathan was the “ours” in a, “yours, mine and ours” family of nine children. He arrived amidst the turmoil of two broken families that would soon be struggling to become one.
Over the next ten years Jonathan wove his way into the hearts of each member of that family…and all who knew him.
*
It was in the fall of the year Jonathan turned 10.
“…one day in early September, Jonathan’s teacher strode purposefully out to our van. I expected to hear the latest exploit of one of my children. Instead, she said, with emotion in her voice, “Jonathan is going to do great things. God has something special for him…”
Less than two months later Jonathan lay in a coma for 17 days, while family, friends and strangers prayed…and believed, for a Miracle.
*
Jonathan is first introduced to you in a poignant tribute by one of his sisters, Ashley.
Then his mom, Laurie invites you to experience a mother’s heart through her own personal journal writings, her poetry, and the story of her journey from, “A miracle baby,” to, “It’s over…it’s really over…”
…and then through the first year of learning to live again.
You will hope, you will cry, you will walk with her through strength and weakness—you will see God’s faithfulness as never before…
And you will experience… Jonathan’s Miracle.
*****
It Is:
… It is a place of earth shattering intensity.
It is a reach for eternity
beyond comprehension….
*****
Journal
Surely my faith is very weak. I am strong one minute, failing the next. Lord, undertake for me. I can say the words, I can figure it out, remember scriptures, count the people praying, quote promises—but tonight in the face of this reality—all my resolve is nothing.
*****
Journal
My life is suddenly taken from me…not the breath I breathe, but the things I know…the routine, job, cows, cooking, planning, decorating, frustration, depression even, nothing is important anymore, except one child. …
*****
What is it like to lose a child?
It is like finding out the sun isn’t going to rise tomorrow;
That the whole earth has been turned off its axis.
It is like waking up to find every pine tree a shade of purple…
Every daisy, black…
*****
Grief does not envelop me…
But it’s always there…
Brought on by memories, objects, activities…
Or nothing at all
Always, I can go from peace to instant anguish again…
It still is not always a physical pain, but it flushes my very soul.
Every part of my being rises in that instant in the agony of loss.
*****
Jonathan, it seems my mind cannot grasp that you are not here. It is such a strange clash of emotions: Part of me accepting; part of me denying. Part of me anguished; part of me joyful: Such extremes. I keep coming back, time and time again to God—my stability.
*****
…What we had was beautiful…
There is a place in my life that no longer knows the sound of his voice, no longer plans for his presence.
But there is a place within my heart that has been molded to this small boy. Nothing can ever fit that place…it belongs to him alone…and so it should.
*****
This I recall to my mind, therefore I have hope.
It is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed,
because his compassions fail not.
They are new every morning:
Great is thy faithfulness.
Lamentations 3: 21-23
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About the Book
and never imagined they could survive.
For anyone yearning to know…
“How could God possibly bring good out of this?”
Laurie E White tells the story of her son in Jonathan’s Miracle.
Jonathan arrived bringing hope and joy to a family in turmoil. Over the next ten years he wove his way into the hearts of each member of that family and all who knew him. Then, one morning Laurie and her husband received a frantic phone call at work: Jonathan was choking. For the next seventeen days he lay unconscious in the hospital, while family, friends and strangers prayed for a miracle.
Jonathan’s Miracle invites you to travel the journey with her. Along the way she shares her personal journal writings, and original poems, borne from a mother’s heart, as she copes with tragedy, trust, acceptance, and beginning to live again….
It is like finding out the sun isn't going to rise tomorrow;
That the whole earth has been turned off its axis.
It is like waking up to find every pine tree a shade of purple …
Every daisy, black…”
You will hope, you will cry, you will see God’s faithfulness.
And you will experience… Jonathan’s Miracle.
About the Author
Laurie E. White and her husband call upstate New York home, though they spend most of their time on the road as professional truck drivers. During their travels they look forward to time off visiting their children, grandchildren, extended family and friends.