Peanut Butter Fridays

Chapter 8
Order in the Classroom

Sixth Grade

Dear John,
You gotta check out the garbage cans just about every day because you never know what good stuff people throw out. So this morning I was on my way to school and I checked out the garbage cans just in case somebody throws away something valuabull. Well, I found this clock in a garbage can way down one of the alleys. I took it home and checked it out real fast. The spring's busted. But it's a real good clock other than it don't work. I gotta get to school fast.

Dear John,
I was late for school today because of the clock and all. I got a tardy and the nun said I hadda stay after school and write I must not be tardy a hundred times. But then I waited after school and the nun never came back. So I came home. I ain’t worried because she don’t know my name. This nun forgets a lot.

Dear John,
Earnest told me when he walks into his kitchen at night and turns on the lights, it looks like the whole floor moves to the walls. It’s the cockroaches running for cover. Earnest told me his mom and dad are thinking about moving out of the neighborhood because they hate all the cockroaches. My mom and dad are thinking about moving out because they hate the kind of people what are moving into the neighborhood.

Dear John,
Today I found a really good aquarium in the garbage. The glass got a crack but just only on one side. I tried putting water in it but it leaks. Other than that little problem it’s a real good aquarium.

Dear John,
The nun told us a story about when she was a little girl in Ireland and about the fairy rings. The farmers take all the rocks from the land and puts them in the middle of the field real neat. They never plant potaters there or nothing because that’s where the fairies live. It’s a real interesting story except she told us that same story every day for the last week. The nun’s kinda forgetful.

Dear John,
I told Earnest about the aquarium I found in the garbage and he axes me if we can trade because he needs an aquarium for an experiment and he don’t care if it leaks. When Earnest wants to trade, he really means he just wants me to give him the aquarium. Earnest don’t got nothing I want.

Dear John,
This is the last week with this nun in 6A. Next week I get promoted to 6B and we get a different nun. I liked the nun in 6A because she’s old and she forgets a lot. I don’t care if she tells us the same stories over and over. The kids in 6B say that nun is O.K. She forgets a lot too.

Dear John,
All morning I been thinking how to fix that busted spring in that really great clock what don’t work. I got an idear.

Dear John,
Everybody got promoted to 6B, even Earnest and Nicholas!

Dear John,
Earnest wanted to trade me something for the aquarium so I went to his apartment and looked around his room. He don’t got nothing I want so I just give him the aquarium. Besides Earnest already gives me lots of stuff like the rosary beads and all. I don’t need no aquarium what leaks.

Dear John,
Two nuns are going to the old nun’s home. The nun what don’t remember too good in 6A and the nun we was sposed to get in 6B. A new nun what's taking her place came to our class today. She's new around here so she probably don't know much. She's kinda young. Maybe she just got ordained a nun or something.

Dear John,
Earnest says the nun is real young. So we gotta start her out good and help her learn about kids and how they always try to get away with doing bad stuff and all. He can teach her real good because he knows about that stuff.

Dear John,
Today was the first day with the new nun in 6B. She says we're going to take a spelling test every Friday and on every Monday we will take a pretest on the same words. We’re going to be tested on Friday only if we don't get most of the words right on Monday. She says it's pretest on Monday and real test on Friday. I don't know what she talking about.

Dear John,
I know what she means. It means Christine Carney never gotta take a spelling test on Friday.

Dear John,
I seen Earnest looking in the garbage can in the alley behind Pepey’s Butcher Shop today. I helped him look because we don’t ushually like the same stuff. I figger I might find something I like in there but I don’t mainly because I don’t like stuff what got blood all over it. But Earnest found lots of empty cans and toilet paper rolls and egg cartons and he got a big bag of saw dust with lots of bloody stuff all over it.

Dear John,
Me and Earnest don’t exctly go looking for the same stuff in the garbage. When I go garbage hunting, I find great stuff. When Earnest goes garbage hunting, he finds garbage.

Dear John,
Earnest told me I gotta see what he done with his aquarium. So I go up to his apartment and there’s the aquarium in his room. But his room’s real dark. I can see the aquarium got 2 empty cans and 3 toilet paper rolls and 2 egg cartons and saw dust on the bottom with bloody clumps. But I can’t see nothing else in the aquarium. Then Earnest says, "Watch” and he puts on a light and the whole bottom of the aquraium looks like it’s moving. The aquarium’s filled with cockroaches.