We Danced!

Life picked up to a steady, prevalent beat of a march as Buck’s career demands increased. He had to take classes to improve his work contribution of new computer programs. He also was teaching classes the other nights of the week to further his team skills. We became involved in church and school activities as well as YMCA Indian Guides and Indian Princesses, Boy Scouts and church choir, etc. This time in our life was so busy. We were constantly shuffling schedules so that at least one parent was home with the children when life circumstances demanded that other parent was away. Rather than dancing close on the dance floor, we began drifting apart on that dance floor to individual marching steps stared at and admired, but from across the room.

However, we prided ourselves on being together and sharing common interests rather than separating or drifting apart physically like many of our friends did. By comparing ourselves, we were doing very well. Just because we had little, if any time left over for one another, we were committed to love one another no matter what. We began to settle for less than the best in our marriage and accepted it as “it will be better later.” “Better” wasn't coming anytime soon.

As a strike at Buck’s work demanded he work alternating shifts from 1st to 3rd to 2nd to 3rd to 1st with no time to even think about couple or family activities, the stress began to take its toll. We knew things had become too much when slammed doors became the norm, and I delighted running the vacuum while Buck was trying to rest. Dishes clanked and pots and pans rumbled to a disturbing rhythm rather than that flow we enjoyed the night we dance to “Misty” only a few years before. We needed help, but both of us were too nice to address the issues in fear we might have major upsets. I think we thought if we ignored these problems, they would disappear.

Buck and I had married for life and were committed to making our marriage the forever kind of love. We’d not only committed to each other but to God. Buck told me on the way to St. Louis on our honeymoon that he wanted our marriage to be one never-ending date. How we were going to keep that dream alive when disillusionment marched so deeply through our relationship?