The Elderly Kids
Short Stories: Take One a Day for One Week
by
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Once upon a McChicken, my daddy fell in love. I knew she be trouble. Just like the last one.
We was eatin, it was my birthday. I was rockin the new jersey daddy had got me. It said “Rose” on the back. It was red because it was Chicago Bulls, and because I got some ketchup on it. That’s why he smacked me in the lip.
We were ballin that night, he spent at least twenty bucks at Mickey-D’s. We got a twenty-piece nuggets with all the sauces: mustard, ketchup, ranch, sweet and sour, barbeque, and honey. His favorite was the sticky honey sauce. I like to eat one halfa nugget dipped in the spicy barbeque sauce and then dunk the second half in the cool ranch stuff. That golden chicken swam, but I don’t. I chew my grub and then wash it down. Chocolate milkshake, extra-large, like most of daddy’s women. He has a different word for them. I’d say it if we was friends, but you and me aint friends.
Daddy chewed on his sandwich, a fat teardrop of mayo squished out between the lettuce. He put it on his finger, licked at it, and looked up toward the cash register. I snatched me up a big handful of fries. They was all over the tray, the way we do the product at home. They was mad salty. He gave a spin to his diamond earring, licked his lips, and folded back the hot red box of one of them apple pies.
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About the Book
Have you ever thought life is tougher on you than others? Did you grow up too fast? Maybe you are one of The Elderly Kids. Inside you’ll find seven wildly different stories of what life does to us.
My collection is a fun creolization of action and beauty mixed with a dark-hued lyricism. Flirting with comedy, drama, and the supernatural, these tales are packed with language that produces comic book visuals. Brought to life by a try everything man-beast who is one crummy performance evaluation away from becoming a suicidal English teacher, this collection grapples with pharmaceutical temptations, the fangs of family, and the dance that is alcohol. It also navigates stepfatherdom, energy drink madness, the vortexes of race and rap, baby bombs and abuse.
Who in this zoo of protagonists will find their way and land on the shores of their own happiness? Each story is a unique journey into the universal question of “What if?” Take this fifteen dollar voyage into the unknown and get to know The Elderly Kids.
About the Author
Matthew T. Bell is a middle school English teacher who enjoys basketball and beer. His accomplishments include drumming on two rock albums, getting several students published, and seeing his own collection meet publication. He and his wife live near the ocean with their dogs and are expecting their first child.