Angels and Other Maladies

Dear Guardian Angel,
I am writing to you tonight because I need guidance. My heart is broken; this time is my daily life that's causing the torment. I love my boyfriend very much, but recent events in which you should know, because you were there (the night in the woods when you rescued me from the shadows) I know it was you; the figure in the woods. Crystal (my arch enemy) was caught in the battle; she ended brainwashed by these creatures. For that reason Zadk blames me; in silence. He cares for Crystal too much for just a friend. His indirect rejection is taking the best of me. This rejection burns inside me; I am so deeply depressed that nobody can offer any effective comfort. Please listen to my grief and unruffled my broken heart. Embrace me into your wings and supply the peace I crave, at least tonight if you could. The shadows are here tormenting me; I am scared to my bones like an open wound that doesn't heal. I am so desperate I don't know what to do.
My feelings for Zadk are intense; I had never felt this way for a man, ever. And now that I believe I can give myself to him completely, he just inflict this tremendous emotional pain, the suffering feels almost physical. Don't take me wrong, he is a great guy and perhaps I'm exaggerating with all this drama, and I think he is the perfect man for me. I don't know what to do; I want to eradicate this feeling of agony. I cannot sleep with this pain that is so consuming, I feel like I want to die.
Please take all these memories from me and make them disappear. I don't want to feel anymore, I need to be numb to love and affection. I want to forget! Crying is getting exhausting and it's draining my will to continue living. I should give myself to the shadows the next time they come to me, to end this suffering once and for all...
Elizabeth