Justice for All Peace for None

PROLOGUE The sunny court room is packed, full of news reporters and nay sayers. I woke this morning and saw the sun shining; realizing one way or another, this is the first day of the rest of my life. I’m not sure how the verdict will go, but regardless my life will never be the same. Slowly, taking a deep breath, I prepare for this to be the last time I will see, Dice Young, the true love of my life. He’s on trial for second degree homicide, even if he’s found not guilty, I must save myself and walk away from his gangsta ass. We’ve been together for years, and he’s tried to keep me out of the game. Setting me up in a nice home on the upper side of town, he always washes the street off himself as soon as he gets to me. Can’t have the filthy street touching his sweet wifey. We never discuss his business or what it entails. He sheltered me from it all. He lived two separate lives; he always claimed it was to protect me, because he never wants it to hurt me. Well it’s touching me right now and will for the rest of my life. The room becomes deadly quiet, as Dice walks in and takes his place, proudly at the defendant table. The side door opens and the jury files back in with the verdict, the moment of truth has arrived. Dice’s extremely handsome, almost pretty if you don’t look too closely into his dark, hard eyes, which represent his cold, vivacious heart. He can be so nice and kind, almost godlike, then in an instant he becomes Satan in the flesh. Breathing fire and spitting flames, destroying you into a pile of ashes, if he chooses to. Sadly, it doesn’t matter what happens today, he will survive and land on his feet, he always takes care of Dice Young first and everyone else second. He’s a very complicated man, if he loves you, then you are his and he will kill for you, but if you’re his enemy then it’s only a matter of time before your mere existence is eliminated. I have always felt extremely lucky that he loves me, but I have learned the hard way it can also be a curse, because it comes with rules and guidelines. Usually I can accept and deal with his double standards, but to be completely honest, I really just want to be his one and only woman, not just the one he holds in the highest regard. He’s a business man that has a lot of demands on his time, because making money’s the number one ruler of his life. So I’m his baby, he loves me and I love him and he will be with me when he can. It’s my job to be understanding and not question him. He’s out being him and I’d better be home and safe, but most importantly alone. Shaking my head, trying to clear my upsetting thoughts. I return to the present. I feel Dice’s mother squeeze my hand, as we all stand for the judge, praying and holding my breath, Dice turns and smiles, my heart beats rapidly, he mouths, “Breath, my baby. I love you forever, no matter what.” He winks and puffs his chest out. Silently telling me to man up, to solider up, to be his woman and walk tall. Smiling weakly at him, wondering what’s going to become of me without him in my life, he’s been part of me forever. I’m not sure I know how to be me, without him, but I know I’m going to have to learn. Nodding, I mouth back to him, “Ditto, my love.” He shifts his swagga and turns towards the front of the courtroom, just as the judge walks in to deliver the verdict. Everyone rises, the judge walks to his bench and sits down, and everyone sits down nosily. The judge opens the verdict, after it’s handed to him, he then advises Dice to rise. Dice has his hands behind his back, he signs 1-4-3 to me. It’s our secret code for I love you, something my father used to write, because he was an honest, hard working man but uneducated. He grew up in an era were boys didn’t need schooling, just strong backs to do hard labor. I feel hot, nauseous, my stomach’s rolling. I’m struggling to breath; I know I’m hyperventilating, even though I’ve never experienced it before. My hand unconsciously rubs my belly, that’s jumping crazy with nerves. Closing my eyes, I try to take slow, deep breaths, trying to calm myself. I hear the judge say, “Guilty of all charges. Take the defendant into custody; sentencing will be in three weeks.” I hear Dice screaming and yelling. I know he’s trying to get away. The world tilts and sways around me. Then I feel as if I’m falling and darkness slowly over takes me, as I crumble to the floor. I feel Dice touch my hand, his warm breath as, whispers in my ear, “You are mine! You belong to me! I will never let you go! I love you baby, forever!!” I feel him being pulled away, as his soft lips softly brush my temple. I know he’s being restrained. I hear the handcuffs clink as they are put on his wrists. I hear a male voice demand. “Stand up slowly, come on…..” He’s being led from the court room, and I can’t even bring myself to open my eyes to see him one last time. Drifting, I wonder where my life is headed now.