Sugar Cookies and a Green Station Wagon
A story of hope for all prodigals
by
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May 6, 1997, I was standing in the hospital emergency room, watching the nurses and doctors work over my son, who had shot himself. From the hallway, I could hear my husband, Terry, and brother-in-law, Scott, talking. "What brings us to this?" he asked. "I can still remember," Scott said, "the Christmas when he was a baby and we were at Grandma's house taking pictures of the cousins. They were so innocent. We were full of dreams for them. What brings us to this?" His pain was reflected in the faces of the friends and family who came to gather at the hospital. They could not understand the calamity that had befallen us. It was a question that I, his mother, had pondered for a long time. The pain of Jared's life was fresh in my mind. The pain of his death, however, was new. Yet, I would probably be telling his story again and again for the rest of my life. "How many children do you have?" someone will ask, generally in a public place. I do not want to see the look of dismay or pity on their face as I say, “John is on a mission, Cathy is in the military, and Jared killed himself.” I do not want to change a genial, cheerful mood to distress so I will try to head off the conversation, change the subject or distract the direction of the questioning. I could not be blunt and say, John is on a mission, Cathy is in the military, and Jared shot himself. But I knew I would have to have my explanation ready. The whys and the wherefore questions, the “How are you coping?” questions, the “What will happen next?” question and the eternal large looming question of his eternal salvation. How could I ignore the promise of the firstborn? How could I not tell about Jared? So, I started to write.
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About the Book
“Follow the journey of the Johnson family through the ups and downs of a tumultuous and agonizing period of their lives and review with them the lessons they learned when their oldest son, Jared, committed suicide. This is is a story of faith, hope, and renewed love that will uplift and reaffirm the value of human life, including every wayward prodigal anywhere.”
About the Author
Terry and Pamela Johnson are an active, involved, Mormon couple who have strong faith in the goodness of God. The implementation of this faith was challenged with the suicide of their son but was ultimately strengthened as they searched deeply into their hearts and religion for meaning. Pamela was taught from a young age the importance of raising children right 'for when they were old they would not depart from it' and, 'as a twig is bent, so it will grow.' She had a firm belief children became what they are taught. Terry was raised in a small, not so close, family who had little regard for organized Christian faith. His family was not enthusiastic when Terry became an enthusiastic convert of the LDS Church. Terry and Pam were energetic in seeing their children grew 'straight.' However, Terry and Pamela discovered that sometimes the unexpected changes the expected outcome. The lessons they learned through their struggle when their oldest son became a prodigal and then killed himself taught them great lessons and gave them greater compassion for all God's children in any circumstances, anywhere. This is their story.