My Ramblings

Examples of My Amazing Life There was never a time when I thought I would not be successful, except for that brief period between the ages of (4) and fifty nine (59). Before that, I knew that I was destined to reach impossible heights. I know we have all been there. Can’t you remember when you were a small tot that you heard the sounds coming from the big people and wondered what they were saying and at the same time, could not have cared less? My parents, although not the brightest people in the world even with their degrees in Physics and psychology, always took care to make like they knew what was not in the best interest of the children whom I would use for test subjects in my quest for success. My dad had a great command of the English language and as the commander was always slaying it. My mom on the other hand was always analyzing what came from the sounds she heard when no one was speaking. As I was being weaned from the carrots that always seemed to cause temporary blindness, I began to see that they were always trying to force feed their ideologies to me through imaginary straws that always scratched my throat. My siblings thought I was a rebel because I was always called “Rebel.” My older brother laughed at me for climbing out of my crib at the age of 17 and rambling all over the house looking for the smell of what was coming to my nose. I found that by using my nose rather than basing all my hopes on my ears and eyes, I could smell out trouble and always find it. There are several other siblings who failed to find trouble as well as I did, but once in a while I would share it with them. When I learned to ride a bike at the young age of 19, simply because I was the adventurous one in the family, I fell from the gravel sidewalk to the top step of the porch without bouncing once and all the neighbor hood kids wanted to see me do it again. They were so boring and I had such a great life that the doctors at the emergency room kept me with candy. There was a lot of excitement when the cops came to our house and wanted to talk with my parents about my accidents on the bike and the trees and the swing set that my parents had not finished putting together. They called me to the room and just as I was getting close to them, I knew they had guns and I turned, ran back to my room, and came out with my own gun and was just before making them leave when I fell on the carpet and discharged a round into the cat who happened to attack the cop at that time. The cat hates water, and when I shot him, he almost took the cop’s hairpiece off. My mother immediately became the referee and watched the cop body slam the cat, but the cat was so quick to land on his feet that he missed the opportunity to kick the cop’s leg from under him. Mom counted the cop out when the cat sat on his chest and dared him to move again. It was something in the way the cat spoke that made the cop surrender. During that time of my life we did not have camcorders, but I have it recorded in my mind and every once in a while, I replay it on the wall for the family. I finally met and married the love of my life and when we were able to get out on our own after the 4th grand child was born, we decided that we were not able to have any more children and that there was no use being sad about it. Instead we taught our grandkids to live life to the fullest and our kids took them away forever. We never meant to break so many bones.