Knitting, Praying, Forgiving

I did not plan on knitting a forgiveness prayer shawl or creating a pattern of love and forgiveness. I believe God revealed both to me, and He wants me to share my story and my pattern to encourage others. That is why I wrote this book. It is my prayer that my story and pattern will encourage and bless you on your journey to forgiveness.
It began when I was in my early twenties and pregnant with my first child. I was happy and very excited about becoming a mother. I never thought twice about my mother being there for me, and she was there, for a few short months. I am grateful that my mother met her first granddaughter, and that she was there to help me learn some of the basics of parenting. I guess we never think of losing our mother especially when she is healthy, young, and only forty seven years old, but my mother was taken from me suddenly and unexpectedly. She was murdered. It was shocking. I was utterly and completely devastated. There are no words that adequately describe my painful traumatic loss. As a psychotherapist for the past three decades, I have met and worked with many people who have suffered painful and traumatic losses and who also struggled to forgive. It is my experience and belief that we can only forgive life’s big hurts through God’s Grace.
In this book I tell my forgiveness story and share my faith journey to forgive the young man who murdered my mother. I share the beautiful ministry and amazing “miracle” visit that happened many years later, and my simple user friendly Love and Forgiveness Pattern . In the pattern I knit together an ancient monastic prayer practice, lectio divina, with the art of knitting. You might be wondering what is lectio divina? It is an ancient practice of listening deeply to the voice of God speaking through sacred texts. It is a simple way of praying with scriptures or any sacred text.
First: read your chosen text very slowly and thoughtfully. Savor the words and listen for the “still, small voice” of a word or phrase that speaks to you and says “I am the word for you today.” Then ponder, taking the word or phrase into yourself by slowly repeating it and allowing it to interact with your inner world. Then begin to pray interacting with God as you would with someone whom you know loves and accepts you. I practice lectio divina in the morning, and I like to knit and pray with my word from scriptures. Anytime during the day that I pick up my needles, I remember my word in prayer.
The earliest Christian forms of lectio divina were practiced widely in the desert monastic tradition during the third to fifth centuries. The desert monks did not have their own Bibles so they memorized large amounts of scripture, and they would meditate on the sacred texts as they went through the activities of their day. As Saint Benedict taught, the monks listened for a Word or phrase during their communal prayer, and then held it in their heart. Christians have always seen a scriptural invitation to lectio divina in the example of the Virgin Mary “pondering in her heart” what she saw and heard of Christ. (Luke 2:19)
I am certain you know about knitting, or maybe you know a knitter, or have picked up knitting needles yourself. In my story, I share how knitting became my prayer practice, and, how without conscious planning, I had begun knitting into the Mystery of God, a forgiveness prayer shawl. It was this forgiveness prayer shawl that I had not planned on knitting, that God chose for me to begin a ministry, honoring my mother and people who have lost a loved one through an act of violence. I began Dorothy’s Peace and Forgiveness Prayer Shawl Ministry. I am getting ahead of myself. You can read about this special ministry in chapter three: Forgiveness Prayer Shawl.