The Crying Orchid

“Don’t pick that tone with me! I’m the one who supports you so you call when I let you call. Do you understand?” He grabbed her chin and squeezed it hard leaving a red thumb print for few seconds on her chin. She pulled away from his hand freeing from his rough handle.

“Stop it Eddy.”

“Stop it?! I told you not to call long distance. Didn’t I tell you that?! We can’t fucking afford you calling all over the place and we can’t afford to pay so much for heating either. You ran a hundred Marks bill just on the phone and another two hundred on the electricity? I lost my job in November and you tell me to STOP IT?!!! I’m gonna solve the problem right now.” He yelled and grabbed the phone smashing it against the wall, leaving a small dent in the wall missing Michaela’s face by couple of inches. Then he slammed the door and left her there crying and shaking helplessly for rest of the night.

When Eddy did not come home whole night, Michaela started to worry about him, considering the angry state that he has left in. She did not have a phone and even if she did, there was nowhere to call. She did not dare call her family again and she did not want them to know about her marital problems, if that could be called what Eddy sometimes did. She distracted herself with her daily routine. She turned on the boiler to heat up the water so she could wash up in the washbasin. It was becoming more difficult for her as she was twenty-eight weeks pregnant and her belly grew considerably. After she washed herself, she dressed and went to the bakery to buy some bread and buns. She stopped at the Ziegler’s apartment and at Mr. Ehrlichmann’s to check if they needed anything as she did every morning. She was content when she could help others; it brightened her otherwise lonely life. She only wished that someone would help her, but there was nobody. She was completely dependent on Eddy. The little money that she has earned from her neighbours for chores she tried to safe for emergencies or other necessities. She quickly learned that Eddy would take it and spent it on his drinking. She learned not to tell him everything. She hid the money behind Nikolas’ picture frame of the Black Sea where she was so happy.

She often thought of Nikolas and wondered whether she had made the wrong decision marrying Eddy and thought how different her life would have been if she had stayed in her country. At least she would have her family and friends close by. Here, she did not have anyone; other than the few neighbours that she befriended. She felt lonely and depressed when Eddy still did not show up by lunch time the following day. She ate alone again; wondering where he went. Perhaps he was looking for a job somewhere or drinking. She hoped nothing happened to him. She needed someone to talk to; not necessarily about her problems, but just to have some company. She knew Verena was always home as she did not work and although she was quite older from Michaela, she might have understand her better as a woman who also might feel lonely. She went down two floors and knocked on her door.

“Hi, Verana. Can I come in?” Verena, who was often openly inviting her every time she saw her, now hesitated, nervously looked over her shoulder, but then smirked and said.

“Sure, come on in.” She pulled her in by her arm. Michaela was glad to have a friend that was available anytime she needed a friend. Although she did not have an intention to talk about her problems, she could not help but ask her casually.

“You haven’t seen Eddy today, have you?”

“No, why do you ask.”

“Ah, it’s nothing.” She sat down on the sofa when her eye caught a blue checkered material stuck in the closed closet doors. It looked like a piece of shirt that her husband wore the night before. It couldn’t be, she thought, but she stood up automatically and walked to the closet opening it, not noticing Verena’s horror in her face.

She opened the closet door to find her husband standing there crunched down in the small closet.

“So, this is where you spent your night? Cheating on me, with my only friend that I have here? Bastard!” She yelled at him and her hand automatically flew up slapping him across the face.

“I can explain.” He attempted surprised at her volatile reaction that he never saw from her before. But Michaela did not listen to him; she turned to Verena with tears in her eyes at the betrayal by her husband and by her new found acquaintance.

“I thought you were my friend, but I should have known better.” She ran out of the apartment crying. Eddy pushed Verena out of the way when she tried to stop him and caught up with his wife on the top floor just before she had a chance to open the door of their apartment that became her crying sanctuary way too many times. He grabbed Michaela by the arm forcing her to the ground nearly falling off the stairs as his threatening fist came over her head. She instantaneously knew that slapping him was a big mistake that would have dire consequences.

“What the fuck are you doing embarrassing me in front of the neighbour?! You want to fight, let’s fight.” His screams reverberated off the walls of the building heedless of attracting unwanted attention. Michaela was covering her belly with one hand and her face with the other nowhere to escape; she was expecting the blow to come any moment when his fist was hovering over her in a threatening manner. She surrendered to his superiority without much choice.