C, You Can Do It!
Because Life Is Change; Growth Is Optional
by
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Blueprint for Joyful Growth through Life’s Changes:
Contemplation:
I have discovered that life presents changes constantly and it is crucial that you learn to appreciate these changes as challenges each and every day. To appreciate these daily challenges you must learn acceptance in order to effectively deal with them. By accepting them and saying “this is reality and I cannot change it,” you can then develop good coping skills in order to deal with each change properly. Some changes are positive and some are negative, so developing the correct perception in regard to the challenges is critical to resolving them in the most proactive and yet comfortable manner.
Counseling:
• For every four years of marriage it most likely will take one year of healing in order for a person to change a behavior pattern and proceed to a new life. After 26 years of marriage, the timetable was that I should heal in a little more than six years. At first I was so disheartened to hear that length of time; however, I could sense the importance of that timetable when I was four years into the healing process and yet not fully healed emotionally. Healing is an individual process; but, all in all, working though one year to heal from four years of marriage is a valuable timetable.
• How you perceive any situation affects your emotional response. One thought process I have developed is to ‘flip’ the situation – changing the view from very bad to what good is to be discovered? Flipping the situation is like holding your hand with palm up and then flipping it so your palm is down – that is how I view any problem or issue. I assess the situation as it is and then I flip it to decide options to resolve it quickly and possibly learn from it or what good lesson can result from the situation so I do not repeat it. One friend told me that she liked that approach and would often use it with her children. One time my friend was telling her daughter about a problem she was having and her daughter said, “Mom, flip it!” I loved hearing that story as the lesson was handed down successfully!
• You are not lonely; you have solitude! I learned that at D&S and that thought has comforted me, especially when I am at home alone. I do have quiet time to cook, to read or write letters, to exercise or go to bed early . . . a quality of time to heal and to be enlightened about my thoughts and feelings. While I do miss living with a family member, I know that I am just where the Lord wishes me to be and, therefore, I choose to make the best of each day.
Coping Concept (1 of 18):
Courage: The quality or state of mind or spirit enabling one to face danger or hardship with confidence and resolution.
I accepted my challenges with the self-imposed ability “to complete what needed to be completed” and not waste time complaining because that would not help me. Andy Warhol, the American artist who was a leading figure in Pop Art, said “Everyone will be famous for 15 minutes.” I took the liberty of his thought process and edited to my personal needs: I am allowed a pity party for 15 minutes and then I need to get to work.
Consecrate the day with Proverbs:
My goal is to highlight the guidance from the Lord and His strength, comfort and peace that He willingly and graciously blesses on all of His children each day. The Word of the Lord is written to aid His children, so I’ve added a Proverbs’ to quote end each of my chapters. I consider Proverbs highly underrated. I find them to be extremely revealing as they deftly target our weaknesses with directives on how to “straighten up.” Each quote reveals a meaningful message giving easy directions to implement the righteous way of living. The Bible’s Book of Proverbs illustrates God’s wise steps for godly living and some of them are so direct and even funny that I consider them to be God’s “one-liners” for His children to easily “get.” Armed with His Word in my mind and in my heart, I am fearless with the Lord - always!
The godly are like trees that bear life-giving fruit, and those that save lives are wise.
Proverbs 11:30
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About the Book
Do you know why a golf ball is totally covered with dents? I didn't, but my friend Suzanne did; she explained all those dents make the golf ball aerodynamic. Those many dents make it go straighter, higher, and further. Upon hearing her explanation, I knew that my many life changes were really “dents” that made me more “aerodynamic” in my personal growth! Divorce turned my world upside down, but by continually embracing eighteen words that, coincidentally, all begin with the letter c, I am healthier emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually. My analogy is as follows: the word “golf” has four letters in it, and the game consists of navigating eighteen holes through treacherous territory. The word “life” has four letters in it, and in my book, I present eighteen words to help readers navigate life, which, like golf, involves treacherous territory. I believe that we are in this together, and we should share our hard-won wisdom with each other to lighten our loads in life. Choose Growth. Gain Peace.
About the Author
Lynn Frances, a first-time author, shares lessons gleaned from trials and tribulations as well as joys by acknowledging Christ’s love and God’s one-liners, the Proverbs, throughout each day. Lynn chooses to embrace life with passion and humor as opposed to sleepwalking through it. Lynn currently works and lives in Chicago.