Dark Valleys and Sunlit Mountains
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(1.) Cardio The mutual consensus decision of the four doctors was, given my agreement, to continue the level of treatment, i.e., full life support, through the weekend, and confer again on Monday following each of their examinations, a brain scan and additional evaluations. I concurred completely with this proposal, knowing only too well the futility of prolonged continuance of full life support considering Ted's age, medical history and previously expressed wishes. While medical science is now capable of maintaining the physiology, meaningful life is something quite different. Throughout this entire time prayer was consistently for God's will and what was best for Ted. I asked only that he not experience pain. After praying with Ted, repeating the Confession, Creed, Lord's Prayer and Psalm 23 in his ear as had been done mornings and evenings of each day, I assured him, yet again, it was ok if he wanted to give up and go home. Then it was time to leave for the night. Holding his hand and attempting to kiss his cheek it almost seemed his right eyelid twitched, but just once, possibly, or was it only my imagination. (CICU Mon. am)) Ted had awakened; eyes open and was most assuredly listening. His eyes and ever so slight facial movements registered his awareness. Dr, Kirk, "There he is- The Miracle Boy. This is a miracle. No doubt at all. They don't happen very often, but Ted's emerging from coma is a true miracle, no question whatever. " (2) lliostomy Warm sunshine and soft breezes prevailed that picture-perfect spring afternoon. Cats dozed on patio chairs, ignoring worm-hunting robins hopping about on the lawn. I stood on the front porch frozen in overwhelming panic clutching hospital release papers. He had been discharged from Mercy General, following a month-long stay and emergency dead-of-night lliostomy surgery. The procedure was completely successful. Recovery was fully expected to be routine, but for one vital element. He refused to eat. Severe weight loss continued. He failed to thrive. Clearly and frequently his desire to die was expressed. His wish for doing so at home had now been granted. Here he was per his numerous requests. A vast array of critical care medical equipment and supplies virtually filled the room where he now lay basically comatose. Wait--please don't everybody just leave. What do I do now? Silent screaming in my head as ambulance attendants calmly walked out the door and down the front steps, clipboards and completed compliance forms in hand, with cheery waves and "good-bye" smiles. The assortment of vehicles and occupants departed. The Hospice nurse was to have met him here with the ambulance transport, get him settled in comfortably, and acquaint me with the various newly prescribed medications and unfamiliar equipment-bags of supplies. Here he was, in his own room in his home, as he wished. And the scheduled Hospice nurse? Nowhere. (weeks later) And so, Ted still survived--much to the surprise of Hospice and numerous physicians, to say nothing of me. Why are we so consistently surprised when God answers prayer and supplies our needs? (April 2010) Ted was in the kitchen doing his leg stretch exercises mid-morning as I worked on the final touches on the last wall. He had been very quiet for several minutes and I was about to check on him-just another brush-stroke or two-when he slowly walked down the hall and into his room. Still quietly, but with a very different and relaxed expression, he simply stated: "I was looking out the kitchen window, looking at the sunshine and the yard, and it just came to me. It's very clear. I do believe in God." (3.) Completion Proctectomy From 2010 on, Ted made good progress in gaining strength, becoming more mobile and independent Early in 2012 his attitude gradually changed and he became increasingly reclusive. Trips to Post Office or grocery store dwindled over the months. He complained about talking with friends who phoned; claiming that tired him. He had little to contribute other than the state of his health. Ted was unable to sit on any surface, no matter how well padded, for more than a few minutes before needing to lie down. Chronic hip and back pain had increased. With increasingly severe rectal pain, he was not able to fully relax which exacerbated his hip and back pain. Pain medication was of marginal help. He was physically unable to participate in normal everyday activities. Quality of life had deteriorated to an alarmingly low level. Dr. Harris scheduled the procedure. She accepted the reality of surgery being his only option despite the numerous very real difficulties involved. No matter how well prepared one is, there is no shock quite like that of seeing one's spouse lying still, waxen complexion, without respiration, quite simply...physically dead. It is a blow quite different from any previously experienced. The stethoscope confirmed what was already known. There was no •. heartbeat, irregular or otherwise; none. The strangest silence after years of careful listening to the uneven and interrupted beats, attempting to count a rate, now only silence. His wish to die at home with his kitties had finally been granted; painlessly and in complete peace. God does send comfort and strength to meet all our needs, even and especially in our worst human experiences. His angels surround and support us. We don't see them in physical form. Comfort and care are clearly felt and known. "Lo, I am with you to the end..."
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About the Book
Dark Valleys and Sunlit Mountains chronicles one couple's journey through numerous and diverse medical challenges encountered during the latter portion of a 31-year marriage. They took great pleasure in each other's company, extended families, friends; off-shore and domestic travel, summer cabin and boating. The marriage was good for both. Significant changes to her husband's diet following their 1982 marriage, improved his overall health status considerably. His decades-long history of petit mal seizures was well monitored and treated with prescription drugs, adjusted appropriately by board certified neurologists. Neither anticipated the events beginning with a seizure incident in May 2007, continuing into 2013. Life became one supreme medical challenge after another, each different; each with its own specific dark valley. Periods with minimal hope, no diagnosis, medical miracles or answers found. He recuperated from each (until 2013), slowly regaining strength, mobility and well-being. Each sunlit mountain recovery experience was savored. Plans commenced for more travel. A 2009 successful lliostomy procedure mitigated Gl bleeds, but left Ted unwilling to live, despite medical assurances. No carcinoma was present, but refusing to eat, he came home to die; the darkest valley of all. With no medical training, she became the sole 24(1 critical patient caregiver. Pray without ceasing, with thanksgiving, became the watchword. These trials served to greatly strengthen the wife's life-long trust and faith in God's promises. She discovered a depth of faith heretofore unknown, experienced or even thought possible; learning to trust on an entirely new plane, finding God's comforting peace amidst the depths of human despair. Promises of God's unfailing presence in our lives, never to leave or forsake us; to provide our every need sustained her. In late April 2010 Ted quietly declared for the first time, "It just came to me, looking out the window. I do believe in God."
About the Author
A J. Lennox was divorced, a paralegal, struggling to support herself and young son when she met Ted; they wed in 1982. Marriage two for her; and fifth for Ted, widowed two years prior by cancer. She had escaped a first marriage after twenty years of virtually unending blame; mental and emotional abuse and repeated threats of institutionalization or death. Poverty and a new name were chosen over sticking it out, despite deeply-held religious restraints. Ted provided not only a safe and secure home environment for herself and son but introduced her to an entirely new aspect life. With him she found love on a totally new plane: acceptance as a worthwhile and intelligent person, communication and sharing, mutual respect, support and encouragement of her many artistic endeavors and accomplishments, personal and financial security. Life was to be enjoyed, not merely survived. This was a totally new element in her life, and for the first time in her life she truly felt valued as a person. Ted shared his underlying medical issue of petit-mal seizure activity prior to their marriage, and had experienced some in the months prior. His were quite mild, commonly referred to as absence seizures, with unidentified causation, and appropriate medication. He worked in the finance industry, they had a summer cabin with boating; a normal life. Seizure incidents were incidental minor hick ups. Ted was the person on whom A J. could rely and lean on for emotional strength and stability. He was her rock. His medical condition shifted in May 2007 with a seizure-caused vehicle wreck. Congestive heart failure, by-pass procedure, gastro-intestinal bleeding, and numerous surgical procedures ensued. Gradually roles shifted from her relying on him, to his relying on her. Their journey and the role shifting is the topic of her book.