He's Not Finished

Chapter 3

Circumstances

Sometimes all we ever see is our own circumstances. I have heard the following statement made many times: Circumstances are ten percent what happens to you and ninety percent how you handle them. We can choose to trust God, or we can choose to be angry. If we choose anger, how do we move forward? If we choose trust, how do we move forward? Just because we trust God doesn’t mean our circumstances have changed. Trusting God gives us hope that we don’t have to do this alone. We exercise our faith muscles when we trust. I would probably be safe in saying that particular muscle is a little out of shape for most of us.

If we could pull back the curtain of life and see the big picture, then we might understand why God allowed us to be in this circumstance. Is that faith? We want life to be happy and without any trials. But how do we grow spiritually unless we go through those trials?

While in rehab at Shepherd Center, I was put through rigorous training every week. One of their objectives was to get you back into your life as much as possible. As part of that process, Jill (my physical therapist) wanted to train Emily to use the manual Hoyer lift to place me in the front seat of my car. We went to the parking garage for the training. Emily had to move the car to another parking spot to allow room for me and the lift. I am not sure what happened when I saw my car, but I began to feel overwhelmed. I became very quiet. The girls didn’t notice at first, because they were busy getting me in the car. It seemed strange to me that I was sitting there in the front seat. It was as if the realization of everything I couldn’t do had finally hit me.

Jill noticed how quiet I was and asked if I was okay. Emily slid into the driver’s side of the car. She reached over and squeezed my hand. Jill whispered to me it was okay to cry, to mourn for everything I had lost. So I did. Sitting right there in my car with Emily and Jill beside me, I cried for the things I had lost, for the opportunities I would not have.

I still miss things about my old life, but my amazing family has worked hard to keep my life as normal as possible. My circumstances haven’t changed. I am still in a wheelchair, but I am trusting God one day at a time.