Just Looking Back

I was the ideas man, but my friend Julian knew how to refine the ideas to make them work. An impromptu tea party at his home devised by me, for which he was duly punished; plus an attack on passing traffic and neighbours, for which it was my turn to receive some retribution. That was life back in our childhood, if not exploring bombsites for wartime treasure or, shopping with my mother on regular visits to the grocer. School came next, with associated stress and the attendant fear of being bullied or, needing to make new friends. Very difficult for a shy boy, but sympathetic Schoolteachers genuinely helped to form my life and create the person I later became. They certainly had an effect on my general behaviour, as opposed to my parents, who often were kind enough to excuse me when I should perhaps have received a severe reprimand? When I say parents, I do of course refer to my second family who adopted me at the age of three months. My first family were a mystery to me for most of my life. This birth family, when finally discovered, was always in the background and would hopefully appear before I reached the end of my life. Working in the Civil Service was more fun than I could ever have imagined. The persons I worked with were like characters from some type of fantasy novel. The officers I met whilst volunteering as a Special Police Constable could only match the eccentricity of these persons. This period of my life really broadened my mind and introduced me to the public around me in a way that no teaching by my parents could possibly have done. Growing-up was difficult, becoming a teenager and then becoming a husband and father needed much understanding. My parents could offer no specific advice and often suggested that I should find my own answers to the problems of life. However, the workplace does impose conditions to which you must adhere, whether it is a full or, part-time occupation or for that matter some voluntary type of work. The death of someone close followed by the death of children who have no reason to be buried before their parents, can send many adults into a frenzy of sadness and self-denial, that can affect people all of their lives. I suffered such an experience and still have nightmares as to how I managed to survive without suffering some severe depressive illness. After the loss of my first marriage, I did what most people do and attempted to pick myself up, and start again. Sadly the second marriage was doomed to failure from the outset, and apart from producing a loving daughter and grandson, there is little left to remember when all was finally done. To distract oneself from the routine of domesticity or a gruelling work schedule imposed by self-employment, I took up playing golf and driving a car. Both of these activities provided much fun and a certain degree of excitement, and additionally some very good friends. Later in life my interest switched to gardening and computers. I was mostly hopeless at both and in desperation sought foreign holidays to release my anxieties and provide a wider interest in life and the world around me. Did it all fit together like a giant jigsaw puzzle, and get me where I wanted to go? Nothing is certain in life even if you earnestly believe that effort must always be surely rewarded. I had masses of advice from just about everyone as I progressed through life, but there is no guarantee that such advice is reliable, or that it will get you where you want to go. This book could help with unravelling some of the complexity!