From Chicken Feet to Crystal Baths

There we were then in this tiny town in Ningxia at 9.30 on a Sunday night, tanked up on rocket fuel, but not quite having had so much as to be completely incapacitated. So, naturally, we decided to go out to try find some nightlife. In Qingtongxia. We wandered out from the plant into the town ‘centre’ and found that actually there was something going on; there was an informal bar set up in the town square, around which there are about a dozen outdoor pool tables. There were a few locals playing against each other, and also somewhat randomly, some Russian soldiers sitting having a beer - later one of our clients had a chat to them, as he spoke some Russian, but I do not think he ever actually worked out what they were doing there. The temperature was pleasantly warm, the beers were cold, the locals (plus even the Russians) were friendly, and so we bought a few drinks, and started playing pool. Before long, I was midway through one game against another of the Hong Kong bankers, when I felt a tug on my shirt. I turned round and was surprised to see that the tug was coming from a guy in a wheelchair, and that he was challenging me to a game. My initial reaction was that being in a wheelchair would have been somewhat of a hurdle for him to play pool, but the confident nature of his request was such that I reckoned he must be the local town Champion. He surely wanted to try and beat the visiting Westerner, in order to add another scalp to his collection. In the name of good manners, I agreed to play. Now considering the bravado of his approach, I was expecting this guy to be really good…but he was not. In fact, with the greatest of respect, he was rubbish. Because he was in the chair, he could barely reach the table. To hit a ball on the other side, he had to hold the cue with one hand, and just try and spear the cue ball without actually being able to see what he was hitting. Certainly he had no semblance of control, and although I am a moderate pool player at best, honestly, I should have been able to beat him easily. Unfortunately for me the fresh air / Chinese Liquor combination was starting to affect my co-ordination, and I was starting to sway and to see two cue balls when I lined up my shots. I have to admit that I played awfully as well. So there we were, a Qingtongxian guy who could not reach the table, playing against a drunken Englishman. As I am sure you can imagine, it was not the best game of pool that the world had ever seen. And yet…all the locals playing on the other tables all put down their cues and came to watch. Kids ran up out of nowhere. Whispers went round on all sides. Next thing I knew, the crowd was three-deep all-round the table and every shot was getting a cheer or a sigh, despite the fact that every shot from both of us invariably missed. We were the centre of attention. This went on for three frames and no-one seemed to get bored of watching the two of us hammer the balls round the table, without either of us getting anywhere near the pockets. Maybe the game created some tension, maybe there were some side bets going on, maybe it was just the novelty of seeing a Westerner play pool against a guy in a wheelchair, but whatever it was, surrounding the pool bar watching us play seemed to be the most popular activity in Qingtongxia that night. I wonder if even now my opponent is also still telling the story of the pool game. If so then he probably does so with a different slant – he actually beat me two frames to one, a result which still shames me. I am sure he retells it as an epic confrontation. It wasn’t even like there was nothing else to do – when I later got back to the ‘Guest House’, they might not have had clean running water, or an air conditioning unit that didn’t wheeze and splutter like it was on its last legs, but they did have the Arsenal game live on satellite, which provided a rare home comfort for me when I eventually made it back. Particularly when we won. And what else did I get from Ningxia for my troubles? Food poisoning, in Qintongxia, in the middle of a public square, with barely a toilet to be found. I did find one in the end, but wished I had not.