In my 20+ years in law enforcement, I’ve seen many results of fatherless children. I’ve seen children visit their fathers in jail and ask, “Daddy, when are you coming home?” I’ve witnessed kids crying at the top of their lungs because visiting hours were over and they saw their fathers in handcuffs being escorted back to their jail cells. It becomes a regular routine for me to see a child grow up before my eyes at the jail. There were some occasions when I ended up walking young men into the same jail cell where their fathers use to be. I have also heard many frustrating stories of how some fathers were prevented from seeing their own children by the children’s mother. There have been countless stories of a father receiving injustice with the courts in relation to child support and visitation rights, or the father being punished by the mother or society because of a failed romantic relationship with the children’s mother. There are fathers who have been on child support, yet, they have not seen their children in weeks, months or even years. When fathers are restricted from seeing or raising their children, it takes a toll on the children, the families, communities and churches.
This book is to celebrate those fathers who are taking care of their responsibilities; to challenge those who are not; to promote women to acknowledge and appreciate a child’s father who is fulfilling his role; and to educate single women on the qualities they should look for in their potential husband and/or father to their children.
Chapter 1 Are Fathers Important?
Yes! Of course fathers are important! But, society wants you to forget the idea of a traditional family with a strong father. Some people have tried to remove or minimize the father’s influences from the home and our culture. Television shows that once featured a dominant father as the main character, have now replaced the father with a rebellious youth, who has no regard for family, education, the law, themselves or God! The old saying, “It takes two to get them, and two to raise them” is rapidly being erased from our culture. Some women believe that they can raise their children without the father’s help. Some even feel that, they alone, can teach their sons how to be men. That philosophy is ridiculous, selfish and absolutely WRONG. There’s another old saying, “Mothers raise boys, but fathers raise MEN”.
The father is the backbone and leader of the family. Prior to an athlete or celebrity, daddy was considered the hero and role model to his children. He was the mechanic, plumber, ATM, counselor, part-time cook, and full-time bodyguard for his family. He impacted many lives within the church and throughout the community. He was known for his physical strength, leadership skills, great wisdom, compassion, and insight.
A father is larger than life in the eyes of his child. A father’s presence causes a strong sense of security that comforts a child. When a child is performing in a school activity or sporting event, the father’s presence gives the encouragement and confidence his child needs. Even in his discipline, he still shows love. As much as a child needs his (or her) father, a father also needs his child. A father draws strength in investing his knowledge, protection and love into his child.
A father’s greatest joy is to look into the eyes of a little person who he helped create. Becoming a father for the first time is a life-changing experience. Sometimes, that makes a man prioritize and turn his life completely around. A child can have a magnificent and positive effect in a father’s life.