Miscarriage Mom
The Unspoken Realities of Miscarriage and How to Cope
by
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Chapter Six Due Dates and Holidays As the days, months and even years pass there will always be moments that remind you of your loss. You may suddenly find yourself overwhelmed with a feeling of emptiness or sadness. Maybe you know the estimated due date of your baby, maybe you don’t. I can only remember the specific due date of my second pregnancy, May 13th. After this I tried to not get caught up in the excitement of due dates and focused on making it through one day at a time. Although, naturally as any expecting mother would do, I did peak at an online due date calendar at least once during each pregnancy. However, on May 13th of every year I am saddened with thoughts of what could have been. I think of how old she would be on that day and wonder what kinds of things she would be interested in. Would she and Addison (my niece born May 5th of the same year) be best friends? I wish I had an answer to help avoid the grief that comes on this day once a year. Sure with time, the pain has subsided however her spirit will live on in me forever. My niece is a constant reminder of what I have lost. I love my niece dearly and treasure the time I get to spend with her. She is a true character. She loves everything princess. I wonder if my little girl would dress up as a princess every year for Halloween. Or would she be more like me at that age and prefer to play outside with the boys? It is normal to ponder these thoughts and it is Ok to cry. It can be hard to accept that our babies are not here with us today. The holidays can especially be a hard time. When I think of Christmas, I think of children putting up the tree, visits to Santa and opening gifts Christmas morning. I remember doing all these things as a family when I was a young child. Children keep the spirit of Christmas alive, so it is only natural to be thinking of children during the holiday period. I have cried many times pondering the thoughts of Christmas with my child. Every year it is just my husband and I putting up the tree (unless a bottle of champagne counts as company). Every year my mind wonders off with thoughts of my lost babies. How the moment feels incomplete without them there to share it with. I have considered inviting my niece over to help with the tree however I know that it will not fill the void that I’m so strongly missing. The holidays may be a time of year when you need to decline certain invitations if the event is centered around children. Especially if your miscarriage has been recent. When I find myself saddened during the holiday season Vinny likes to remind me of all the money we are saving by not having to buy gifts for 1, 2 or 6 children. So I take that as an open invitation to go shopping. The man is right (lol). Try not to suppress your feelings in the name of being ‘strong’. Speak up! Talk it out! Allow yourself to release any emotions that arise so you too can have a happy holiday. You deserve it!
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About the Book
Miscarriage Mom is a must read for anyone who has lost a child through miscarriage. Having experienced six miscarriages, author Kristy Parisi understands the pain and grief of losing an unborn child. Packed with compelling personal stories and actionable advice, Miscarriage Mom offers heartfelt insight into the unforeseen realities surrounding miscarriage and suggests ways to cope. Miscarriage Mom openly addresses the emotions, reactions, and experiences to be expected after a miscarriage. Honoring your unborn baby, returning to work, and dealing with others’ reactions are just a few of the many topics addressed. With a genuine desire to help, Kristy wrote Miscarriage Mom for any woman who has suffered the pain and devastation of miscarriage. Including a special man-to-man talk written by Kristy’s husband, Vincent, Miscarriage Mom gives readers a clear look into what to expect now that you’re not expecting.
About the Author
Having personally experienced six miscarriages, Kristy Parisi understands the pain and grief of losing an unborn child. She and her husband, Vincent, have been married for ten years, spending the majority of those years trying to start a family. Both Kristy and Vincent are former professional athletes who met while playing baseball/softball in Italy. Born and raised in Perth, Western Australia, Kristy now resides in Tampa, Florida, where Vincent grew up. She holds a master’s degree in educational leadership from National Louis University.