Yesterday's Tears

She was all excited about the apartment, as I showed her around the empty rooms, and told her of the coming furniture. And what it would look like when it was finished.

When we got to my empty bedroom, something came over her, and the tour stopped. Her eyes became cloudy, and her smile disappeared. She looked at me in silence. The two of us were standing there like statues suspended in animation. I watched the tears form at the bridge of her nose. Her eyes blinked, her forehead wrinkled.

"Oh Frank.... I love you so", she whispered, and slowly moved toward me while looking deep into my eyes. My arms opened, and she melted against me. Her lips found mine, and they were sweet and tender. Her tears streamed down her rosy cheeks like rain in a summer shower. Our lips parted. I looked into her wet eyes, felt her hurt, then kissed away the tears from each of them. Our lips came together again, and the sweetness from her soft lips, mixed with the saltiness of her tears, became a magic of wet tenderness. Our bodies were melted together as one, and the surfs of our emotions flooded our clouded minds. All of our thoughts of the world, and all of its existence, faded into mists of unrealness. The blending of our minds weakened our bodies, until they were withering downward like sheens of silk, falling through clouds of nothingness. Somewhere there was a bottom, but its coming was gentle and soft. We clung to each other as though we were afraid that if we let go, we might float away to emptiness. And never finding our way back. Flames engulfed us. Not burning, but tenderly searing our desires into one in the same. We found our bottom..., but only after we had found our high floating clouds.

Later, we lay on the now again hard floor, and quietly talked of senseless things. And forgot about the cleaning we had came to accomplish....

*****

Standing there in the snow that was falling and reflecting off the streetlight, I looked up.

A strange feeling came over me. It was around seven in the evening. Dark, except for the street lights. The Christmas Carols were playing through the speakers, with the voices of children singing, Silent Night. I had a vision in my head about the children that were singing. Their faces seemed to appear in the light from the streetlight, and in the snow that was falling in very big flakes. I saw sad faces of children that had missed out on Christmas because their father or mother had lost all their money, and had nothing left to have Christmas with. Their faces were sad, and their heads hung down. I looked at all the money in the wallet. Twenties, tens, fives, there must have been three maybe four hundred dollars in front of my eyes. The knowledge that there was enough to buy a cheap car, was right there in my hands. I looked back up at the light and falling snow. And there again was the sad little faces....

All of a sudden a feeling of warmth flowed through me. I folded the wallet and walked back to the market. Handing the wallet to a cashier, I smiled and said,

"Someone lost this in the parking lot. Maybe they will come back looking for it. They might have kids that won’t have much of a Christmas without this." She looked at me strangely, and then at all the money in the wallet.

"You’re probably right. Why don’t you leave your name and address. Maybe who ever lost it might pay a reward for turning it in." She had said it with a look of true concern. I smiled at her and said,

"Merry Christmas", and then turned and walked back out. As I looked at the streetlight again while heading for Larry’s car, the little faces were smiling, and the speakers were singing,

Jingle Bells.

Driving back to the house I whispered to myself,

"Sorry hon, but maybe something else will happen that will get us together." The snow was deep and pretty, and the drive was pleasant and cold....